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How To Harness Positive Self Talk To Be More Productive

It would seem that as we get older, we appreciate our time much more and therefore, we are also more aware of how it can be wasted. If you are like us, you want to get as much done throughout the day as possible. Work, hobbies, family, and relationships all require your undivided attention, but sometimes it’s difficult to find the motivation to tackle it all, this is where a little positive self talk can go a long way. In the following article, we will discuss the impact that positive self talk can have on your life and how you can learn to be your very own champion. You got this, trust us.

woman facing the mirror for a positive self talk

Positivity is the practice of staying optimistic and putting an upbeat spin on your life. Staying positive is easier said than done. As you encounter obstacles on the path towards a better you that may discourage and bring you down, remember, these are just setbacks. Keeping yourself motivated can help you boost your productivity in a big way, and will also keep you focused on your goals while boosting your self-esteem as you continue to work toward reaching them. Positive self talk is the sword that can help you forge your way.

How Does Positivity Affect Productivity?

Positivity and productivity are two words married in ideology. Both take hard work, are rewarding, are absolutely necessary, and they rhyme! These two words are inseparable and they should be because one directly affects the other. Knowing what you are going after and having a good attitude about the way you will get it is the start to diligent work, sacrifice, and responsibility. Remaining positive allows you the strength to overcome, the patience to understand and correct mistakes, and the drive to succeed.

It All Starts Within

The journey always starts within, and that is because if you want more time during the day to get things done, all you need to do is ask yourself for it. What does that mean? It means you need to ask yourself: where is my time going? Am I working hard towards my goals? Am I giving myself enough time to complete a task? Am I reinforcing my beliefs and patting myself in the back when I’ve done well? All these things should be part of your inner checklist of activities. You must remember that nobody will have your back as you do.

Self-Awareness and Positive Self Talk

happy woman holding smiley balloon

Self-awareness is critical to our overall function, it is how we understand not only ourselves but also the world we inhabit and how we fit in it. We imagine how our bodies are, how much space we take up in a room, how we look when we speak, and so on. All of this self-awareness is applied when we become productive, and it begins long before any task has even been started. This is because we have imagined ourselves doing this task before undertaking it. When we use positive self talk, we imagine how things will play out in a positive light, encouraging success, and thus propelling ourselves to work harder to reach it.

Is There a Need to Be Positive in Order to Be Productive?

Having a negative outlook on any task will probably yield negative results, you may even complete the task, but will it be your best work? The answer is likely no. Having a positive outlook can be the difference between doing something well or just so-so. There are many ways to get there and we will show you how to harvest the right attitude to succeed. First, take a moment to understand why negativity surrounds us and wants us to fail.

Negativity

Negativity, unfortunately, is around us since we begin to take our first steps. A child is likely to hear words like “no” and “you can’t do that” far more often than words like “you got this” and “yes it is possible.” What this does is program our minds to think negatively. Over 77 percent of the average person’s thoughts are counter-productive and negative. While encouraging parents are indeed essential in the healthy development of a child, the individual will eventually be faced with his or her own decisions about how to approach the life they lead, and positive self talk is a practice done alone.

Time

time management

Time can be your best friend or your worst enemy but one thing is for sure, it will not wait for you. Being productive is about getting things done and making the most of your time. When you take positivity and self-encouragement out of the equation, you spend your time doubting yourself, procrastinating, and eventually giving up on the task you set out to do. Positive self talk helps you work with the sands of time by creating schedules, timelines, and deadlines that benefit your work rate and productivity.

How to Become Your Best Self to Be More Productive

We want to tell you about a few tips that are sure to help you have a better outlook towards your goals and will help you reach them better too. These tips address different aspects of positive self talk and how each affects your line of thinking. Positive self talk is about speaking directly and clearly to yourself, no sugar-coating and no unrealistic expectations.

Speak to Yourself in the Third Person

Psychologist Ethan Kross of the University of Michigan conducted a study that revealed that speaking in the third person allows for a better positive reinforcement of a situation. When individuals were asked to complete what seemed like an insurmountable task in a small amount of time, those who were asked to speak to themselves in the first person often repeated words to themselves such as “How will I ever get this done?” while those who were asked to speak to themselves in the third person said things like “Jane, you got this.” Speaking to yourself in the third person can make a world of difference.

Be Realistic

my goals with post it notes

We do not mean that you need to limit your dreams, but we encourage that you set realistic goals for yourself that fit within a timeframe. Positive self talk is about being real with yourself, this means not taking on just a cheerleader type of attitude. You’ve got to think critically, analyze the situation, and provide yourself with the best assessment of the goal at hand. Don’t cut your wings off but don’t fly too close to the sun either.

Don’t Be Too Harsh on Yourself

Some situations will get the better of you, so when this happens, do not be too harsh on yourself. One of the great things about positive self talk is that not only can you prepare yourself for a situation, but you can also comfort yourself when a task does not go as planned. The path to success is riddled with obstacles and picking yourself up when you get knocked down is an essential part of the journey. Remind yourself that the task you are undertaking is difficult and that it will take all your effort to overcome. After all, anything worth having never comes easy.

Remember What You’ve Achieved

As you continue to visualize and act on your goals, take a moment to remind yourself of all that you have accomplished before and how you got to where you are in the first place. Often, we are so driven towards our goal that we forget to examine what we did to get there. It is in this examination that we remind ourselves of key attributes that help us overcome the task at hand, much like those before. Never forget what you have made possible.

Open Up

woman opening up with another woman

We know that it seems natural to want to focus solely on how to achieve a goal, to lock-in and get to work, but wait! We advise that before you begin a task or a journey towards a goal that you sit back and look at the bigger picture. Having a broader spectrum can improve your ability to see things that will help you achieve your goal. There are things you could miss if you focus too sharply on one aspect of your task. Talk patience into yourself so you can add clarity to your arsenal.

Self Esteem

Appreciate yourself as a person, not just your accomplishments. Everything you achieve is a direct product of who you are as a person and the value you have for yourself and your craft. Low self-esteem can lead to doubts about your ability to perform or worse, it can have you quitting on your dreams and goals altogether.

Conclusion

We hope that these tips have helped you get a better understanding of positive self talk and all the benefits it provides. If you take notes of some ideas and tips offered here, you will see improvements in the way you manage your time. You are capable of anything you set your mind to, and the only person who should be able to stop you on the path towards your goals is you.

How To Keep Selfish People From Stealing Your Time

One of the most precious things in life is your time. You can always make more money or more friends, but you can never conjure up more time. When a moment is over, it’s over, so it would be wise to take a hard look at how you’re spending your hours. Are you letting it be wasted by selfish people?

Since your time on Earth is limited, it makes sense to spend it with people who empower you rather than people who drain you. How do you know when you’re surrounded by selfish people, though? How do you avoid these emotional vampires? This is a skill that’s worth developing.

How Do You Identify Selfish People?

An Eye

Selfish people have certain patterns that become more obvious. In this sense, selfish people will often identify themselves for you. Here are some glaring signs of a selfish person to watch out for:

  • They never contribute to your life
  • They only call you when they need something
  • They get upset when you say no or draw boundaries
  • They try to manipulate you to get what they want
  • You find yourself avoiding them because they are just so emotionally draining

Selfish people make their world all about themselves. Since there’s no room for anyone else, your needs will rarely get met in the relationship. They are always taking from you and are full of excuses when you need help from them. When you ask for something, they make you feel like it’s a huge imposition.

Egocentric people show a lack of compassion and caring. In the selfish person’s mind, any agenda besides their own isn’t important. For instance, let’s say your friend asks you for a ride, but you cancel last minute because your spouse broke up with you, and you feel too emotional to drive. A selfish person may not hide their annoyance at being inconvenienced, or they may even get upset that you canceled. It doesn’t matter that you’re going through a crisis; the only thing that matters is that they didn’t get what they want.

Making Friends with Selfish People Is Not Worth It

Making friends with people like this — even if they are in high positions of authority — is usually a waste of time. You will get little out of such a relationship. Trying to squeeze any value or reciprocation from them will be like trying to milk a stone. Even if you can get something from them, it will never feel like a win-win situation. It will just feel like they are paying you back out of duty, and they will give as little as they can get away with. It will never feel like they are contributing freely as a friend.

Worse still, this selfishness can infect you as well! If you live in a world where people are constantly trying to drain you, it can make you defensive and you may think the only way you can meet your needs is by similarly taking advantage of other people. It turns into a vicious cycle. It’s also self-perpetuating since acting selfishly will attract even more selfish, low-quality people into your life.

Sometimes, when you’re surrounded by selfish people, you may not even realize that this behavior isn’t normal! Just as a fish doesn’t know what water is, you may not know your friends or family are toxic until you meet someone who treats you well for the first time.

Raise your standards. Real friends don’t get mad if you tell them no; they try to help you in any way they can, and they don’t make you feel used.

Why Should You Avoid Selfish People?

Selfish people can make your life miserable. You might not even realize how annoying they are until you finally push them out of your life. Selfish people could waste your time by trying to manipulate you into serving their ends and you might not notice all the mental energy you’re putting into dodging these manipulations.

For example, let’s say you’re improving your life and finally eating healthy and a selfish person in your life has grown jealous. Everything is a competition to selfish people. This person may criticize you or discourage you because they feel threatened by your success. After all, anything that doesn’t glorify them isn’t interesting to them.

As you can see, you should avoid selfish people for very practical reasons:

  • To keep yourself on track with your goals
  • To not let toxic individuals sap your energy
  • To avoid falling into the trap of competition and jealousy
  • To make room in your life for people that will help you, not hinder you

Every moment you spend with a selfish person is a moment you could have spent with a genuine friend who wants to cooperate with you and help you grow as a person.

Selfish people are like burdens that are constantly hanging over you, draining your energy and pushing you away from your goals. Therefore it’s important to avoid them like the plague if you’re trying to improve your life.

How to Keep Selfish People from Stealing Your Time

Time

Selfish people often ignore your wishes, so what should you do if they keep trying to steal your time?

Well, first, you need to recognize that unless someone is physically forcing you to do something, you are the owner of your time. You are 100% responsible for how you allocate your time, and no one can really steal it from you. Even if the selfish person is your time-wasting boss, you still have the option to leave the situation — even if you might fear the consequences. 

Sometimes letting go of selfish people who play an important role in your life can be scary. For example, maybe you’re in a relationship with a selfish person and you feel you have too much to lose if you let go. In cases like these, the transition can be slow and painful, but you will feel better in the end if you let go.

To let go of the selfish people in your life, follow these steps:

1. Draw Boundaries Often and Clearly

2. Be Your Complete Self and Don’t Apologize for It

3. Open Yourself Up to New People and Patterns

Conclusion

Selfish people are not just a waste of time, they are a waste of energy! You only have so much of both, so don’t squander it by spending your precious life with a toxic person who makes you feel drained. Look for people who will actually contribute to your life and who will celebrate your triumphs. Having upbeat people who are on your side will skyrocket your personal growth in ways you may not even imagine.

Perhaps You Need To Challenge Yourself, Instead Of Blaming Others

When things aren’t going well in life, we may blame circumstances or people for our lack of life satisfaction. Whether the blame is directed outward or inward, these self-limiting stories keep us stuck in the blame cycle. We may feel confused, lost, helpless, or hopeless. While these emotions are valid and should be recognized, we need to realize that we do not have to feel these things. Ultimately, we are responsible for what we feel and do. You have the power to change your emotional state, but first, you must accept personal responsibility and learn to challenge yourself.

An Introduction to Personal Responsibility

When we feel like we are stuck in life or a situation, we are not acknowledging the incredible role we play in shaping our own lives. Accepting personal responsibility allows us to become empowered in our relationships and take steps toward concrete solutions instead of focusing on the perceived problems. Personal responsibility is the willingness to take ownership of our needs, emotions, and behaviors. At the same time, we must look outside ourselves to gain perspective on the situation and look for solutions that take others into account.

person walking on the road

If you have not accepted personal responsibility yet, you may have beliefs like, “It’s not my fault I am like this,” or, “I want you to fix me,” or “Look what you made me do.” You have to challenge yourself to let go of feelings of blame in favor or accepting personal responsibility. Other people are not responsible for your emotions or actions. It is your responsibility to make sure your needs are met and to communicate those needs effectively with the people in your life.

Not accepting personal responsibility can have negative consequences that pervade all areas of your life. You may become overly dependent on others for approval, are constantly angry or depressed about how you have been treated, or are unsuccessful in personal relationships. In addition, you may find yourself overwhelmed by fears, unable to make a decision, and in poor health.

There are vulnerable emotions underlying blame. As a result of experiencing an emotion, we change the meaning of what happened to fit our emotional experience. Yet, we blame others for our emotions and behaviors. Instead of blaming others for their insensitivities toward you, recognize it is your job to help others become more aware and responsive to your feelings.

Why the Blame Game Is a Lame Game

Why play a game that no one ever wins, especially if it isn’t even fun? When you place blame on someone else, you are sending a message that this person needs to change their behavior. Consequently, you set yourself up for disappointment and frustration. You may ruminate about these feelings you perceive to be caused by others. In fact, before you know it, you realize that most of your time is spent feeling disappointed or frustrated.

Blame is a seductive game that everyone plays at some point. It’s cultural and habitual, so we may be playing it without even realizing it. We are vulnerable to feelings of blame because we are human. Even so, we do not have to act on the feelings. Here are some other reasons why this game is not worth your time.

You Are Robbed of an Opportunity to Empathize with Someone

Instead of being pulled toward feelings of blame, you could try empathizing with someone instead. Ask yourself what needs the other person has that led them to the behavior you want to point blame at them for. This level of understanding of others cannot be achieved through the lens of blame.

It Damages Intimacy and Connection

WOMAN HUGGING A MAN

No one wants to be intimate with someone who is always blaming others. Challenge yourself to openly and honestly communicate your feelings, perhaps using an “I feel” statement instead of saying “You made me…” or “Because of you….” If you’re highly sensitive, you may feel a responsibility for the emotions of others that prevents you from displaying vulnerable emotions. Just as other people are not responsible for your emotions, you are not responsible for theirs.

You Do Not See the Truth in the Situation

When you blame others, you inevitably deny some truth in the situation, your role in the situation, and your subsequent power to change the situation.

You Give Away Your Power

When you blame others, you may feel you attempted to resolve the situation. In reality, you have given away your power and ability to change to the other person.

You Get Stuck in a Fixed Mindset

People caught in the blame game have a fixed mindset of blaming others which reinforces negative patterns. On the contrary, a growth mindset is characterized by a state of continuous learning and expansion.

If you are tired of playing the blame game, challenge yourself to take personal responsibility. Challenge yourself to reconsider the meanings you have given to situations in which you pointed blame. Instead of saying, “I did this because of you,” try saying, “I did this because I was hurt.” Our emotional responses are not caused by others. They are based on the meanings we assign them, and we are free to choose the meaning we give. That is where our power lies.

Challenge Yourself: The Benefits

It is courageous to take an honest look at our own behavior. We are vulnerable when we acknowledge that we could have been more aware or could have done better in a situation. This is not the same as blaming or judging ourselves. You can combat feelings of blame by seeking to be more aware of yourself and others. Awareness is both the first step and a continual process.

woman sitting on the floor while looking down

Improved Self-Awareness

Self-Growth

Improved Mental and Physical Health

Setting and Achieving Goals

The Chance to Advance Your Career

Be a Better Friend or Partner

Increased Creativity and Inspiration

Gain New Experiences

Peace and Happiness

Conclusion

By blaming others, you give them a power that could otherwise be used to transform your life. While blame assigns negative intent to another, taking personal responsibility acknowledges your part is wrong. You may think, “but I did nothing wrong,” but wrong and right are too limiting of terms to apply to complex emotional reactions.

By accepting responsibility, you allow yourself the freedom to choose how you respond to any situation. You take your power back. Acknowledge your action or inaction that played a role in the situation. You need to realize that we all come from a different background and are at a different level of awareness that shapes our interpersonal reactions. While others may blame us, we do not have to go on the defensive. Alternatively, we can help them become more aware of the needs driving their reactions.

Goal Setting 101 – What Should I Do Today

Whether you save all of your goal-setting for New Year’s Eve or you come up with new goals every month, you’ve probably experienced the disappointment that comes with missing the mark. One of the major, but perhaps too simple, questions that we often forget when setting grand, wide-reaching goals is this one: “What should I do today?”

No matter how big the goal, you will only ever reach it by working toward it one day at a time. Losing sight of this ever-present fact is the number-one reason why we start feeling overwhelmed. This is when inner resistance starts to kick in, and you might not even notice that you’re subconsciously procrastinating.

Goal Setting 101

To avoid that resistance and all the tension that comes with it, fixating on the end-result alone just won’t work. Always start with that one basic question every morning when you wake up: “What should I do today?” Every time you ask this, it should be like a single step on a long staircase that leads up to your ultimate goal. Keep your eye on each step and your goal may ultimately take care of itself.

Checklist for Setting Goals

There are a few things you should always keep in mind when goal-setting so that you’re not setting yourself up for failure instead of triumph. Keep this short checklist in mind:

  • Choose the right goal for you
  • Pick your goals with a realistic mindset
  • Make sure you have internal and external incentives
  • Keep your eyes on one step at a time

Choosing the Right Goal

The biggest favor that you can do for yourself is to pick the right goal in the first place. This means more than just choosing a worthy goal; it also means choosing that objective for the right reasons.

The human mind is tricky and complex. Sometimes, we might be convinced that we want something, when, deep inside, we actually don’t. For example, maybe you decide to set a goal to be a millionaire, but what you really want isn’t actually that amount of money, it’s the freedom that comes with it.

Sometimes we have to dig deeper to find what the real reasons are behind our apparent desires. Only then can we set a reasonable goal with a path that is aligned with what we truly want. If your goal is to make a seven-figure income because deep inside you want the financial freedom to travel, but your job makes it hard for you to take any time off, then clearly there’s a conflict there. Think in terms of what will actually fulfill you.

Most of Life is About the Journey, Not the Goal

We’ve all heard this said in various ways, but the wisdom shines through in practice. Look inside of yourself and follow the thread of your motivations. Where does that line lead once you get deep? What is that one thing you are inherently motivated to do, even if you’ve never made a penny from it… yet?

A good way to find some clues as to what you really want in life is to ask yourself, “What should I do today?” If what you “should” do on that given day to reach your goal is something that you’d rather not do on a daily basis at all, then you’ve probably chosen the wrong thing. Remember that the peaks and satisfaction that come with reaching a goal may not last long. Most of your time and effort goes into the journey. To have a truly rewarding life, you have to be able to enjoy every step of the way.

Being Realistic

The next sticking point for a lot of people is that they set goals that are unrealistic. You may have a genuinely strong desire to attain a certain goal, but just wanting something isn’t enough. Sometimes goals are so far out of reach that it is futile to set them without laying significant groundwork first.

For instance, let’s say that a friend is 200 lbs. overweight and he or she sets a goal to have defined abs in a few months. Probably, that goal is a bit premature at this point. Even in less extreme cases, many of us find ourselves setting goals appropriate for stages that we just haven’t reached yet. The problem with this is that our mind starts to obsess about likely problems way ahead of time. This is a recipe for getting overwhelmed. Focus on realistic goals that you can achieve in a reasonable time, and then worry about the details as they come.

Building a Network of Incentives

Once you’ve chosen a goal that is ambitious enough to excite and challenge you, but narrow enough to be realistic, you’ll need to start thinking about incentives. What will keep you on track?

It’s important to have a good mix of intrinsic and extrinsic influences. Intrinsic motivation comes from the inside: it’s the joy you get just from working on your goal in and of itself. This is absolutely essential, or else you will almost certainly quit. You cannot run on the steam of external motivation alone, though it is a nice cherry to add on top. Here are some examples of external motivation that you can treat yourself to in order to stay the course, however:

  • Celebrate every major step with a special reward
  • Keep track of all of your progress even if it’s small
  • Make your goal public and enjoy the peer pressure
  • Ask someone more experienced, “What should I do today?”
  • Next, ask that person to keep you accountable to your answer

Look inward to identify triggers that make you procrastinate and try to plan ahead to counter them. Social accountability is a good resource for this. You might even want to join groups of like-minded people who are busy trying to attain your same goal.

One Step at a Time: So, What Should I Do Today?

Remember that all of your progress will occur one step at a time even if those steps pass quickly. Try to enjoy every moment and don’t forget to keep asking yourself, “What should I do today?” This is the mantra that should be playing in your mind. Keep your eyes on what you should do today.

Tips for Success

Once you’re out there and actively trying to achieve your goal, be aware that progress is rarely linear. You will hit obstacles every once in a while that might require you to change strategies. That’s why it’s important to focus on each individual step and not get bogged down by your larger plan. Here are some tips to succeed in the face of change that may cause strategic shifts.

Keep an Open Mind

No one ever stretched their limits by being inflexible. Keep your mind open to possible solutions that you may not have thought of before. Consult with people who have different perspectives from yours and try out some of their “crazy” solutions. You never know what might work.

Prepare to Negotiate With Yourself

When you set that huge goal, you were probably close to a peak state of mind. It’s easy to assume that your future self will keep the same elevated mood and energy levels, but this is unrealistic. There will be a time when you will have to adjust that goal.

For example, maybe your goal is to meditate for 20 minutes every day, but you’re finding that you can barely sit still for10. It might be time to cut yourself some slack and allow yourself to meditate for just 10 minutes! Reducing your workload so that you can do a little bit of that great thing every day is far better than burning yourself out. Sometimes, you don’t need to ask yourself, “What should I do today?” Sometimes you do have to ask, “What can I do today?”

Tell the World or Start Building Support

You can decide to let everyone know about your goal! You’ll be surprised at how resources can magically pop up when people start to learn what you’re striving for. On the other hand, if you don’t have a good support network yet and you think your peers will just discourage you, then it might be reasonable to keep your goal temporarily under wraps. In the meantime, try to find a more supportive peer group. If your friends are too jealous or complacent to help you, then you’ll almost certainly find it harder to achieve your goals.

Getting Started: What Should I Do Today?

Remember that the sooner you get started on your goal, the better. Some planning may be necessary, but don’t allow yourself to fall into the trap of using research as a way to procrastinate. This is cleverly called analysis paralysis, and it’s a common way for your brain to trick itself into not leaving its own comfort zone. Instead, make “What should I do today?” your launching pad.

To avoid this, focus on only the next small step toward your goal and don’t bother with the bigger picture when you’re working on the details. Much of the larger plan in your mind will probably change at some point, anyway. It’s much better to get out there, get some experience, and get a realistic feel for what it’s like to work on this goal.

Conclusion

Goal-setting is a great way to help focus your energy and inch you closer to success every day. The problem is that many times the goals we set might be unrealistic or too inflexible, so we find ourselves straying off our paths much too easily. Achievable goals take many factors into account, such as your intrinsic motivation and the external incentives around you. Most importantly of all, remember to keep asking yourself, “What should I do today?” This simple question may bring your focus back into the present moment.

Why You Need to Make a Positive Mindset Your #1 Goal in 2017

Positive Mindset The Key To Success In 2017

Positive thinking written in cursive pinned on a cork board

Since the year’s end will be here before you know it, most people will begin to consider making a new year’s resolution. Personally, I never make any. I think they’re a waste of time and effort. In fact I think resolutions, like many of the parties that typically happen on New Year’s Eve, are for amateurs. It’s estimated that only 8% people who make resolutions are successful at achieving them. Think about it. Millions of resolutions are made at the start of each new year with the same thought given to a bad habit. We know it exists, but we never do anything about it.

There are those who set goals instead of resolutions. These are over achievers. You know who you are. You are likely an entrepreneur or successful business person. You recognize the importance of setting goals and laying out a plan for success. You use the plan to your advantage, like a roadmap takes you to your destination. To you, life isn’t a game. It’s a calculated adventure that more often than not, works in your favor. But even those with the best of intentions are at risk of failing to achieve that which they have set out to do.

Then are also the “in between” people. They are those who may have the grandest of intentions. They may make a declaration to their friends, or on Facebook, or perhaps just to their family or friends that this will be the year they “get that promotion” or “start that business” or perhaps “get back in shape.” Most times, these people (you know who you are) have a goal in mind. They may have a date to reach their goal. They could even have a plan to execute it. But sadly, most of these people will fail in their effort to achieve the goal.

There is of course, one more group of people. They scoff at resolutions. They think of them as water cooler talk and want no part of them. These are people who set and achieve goals with the seaming ease of taking a breath. They set lofty goals that seem unattainable to mere mortals. They hit every goal with the accuracy of an expert sharpshooter.

This begs the question, “How?”

How can you achieve at the same rate as these high performers?

Some may think that these people are different. That they have something within them that no one else possesses. The fact is, that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s the easy answer. It’s an answer that takes any responsibility off of us and blames it on circumstance or maybe even genetics.

The problem is that you are looking at it in the wrong direction. You are linking your results to who you are as a person, rather than just the results and then decide you are a failure. Tony Robbins said, “There is no failure, there are only results.”

Wow, this is great news! The problem isn’t you, it’s only your mindset.

Wait a second Bearj, isn’t my mindset part of me?

Well…yes, but it’s not a permanent part of you, because it can be changed. Your mindset is the sum all of your experiences and inputs from birth until now. Your experiences, challenges, and reactions have shaped you into you.

Changing your mindset means you have to change your reaction to the events that take place around you.

For example, while driving, you run out of gas. Your reaction to this determines your mindset and how you feel about the event.

Choice 1: I’m stupid. These things always happen to me. This is a huge inconvenience. How could I let this happen?

Choice 2: I’ll walk to get gas, it will be good exercise. Maybe I’ll have the chance to meet someone new. I’m glad this happened to me and not one of my kids or my wife. What a beautiful day to be outside.

New Mindset New Results

If you think of your mindset as a radio transmitter and a radio receiver, you will understand the importance of mindset and its role in achieving success.

A transmitter sends out a signal in the form of a vibration and whatever is tuned in at the same wavelength will receive that signal. And the reverse is also true. If you are tuned in to a specific wavelength, your will receive any signal that transmits on that wavelength. So if you are tuned into a “woe is me, I can never do anything right” wavelength, then that is what you will receive. However, if you are tuned into a more positive wavelength that will be the signal you receive.

Setting a goal is important, but the real key to achieving your goal is having a rock solid positive mindset that will give you the strength to overcome any obstacle.

The concept is simple to understand, but a little more difficult to achieve.

So, next month, I’ll talk about how you can retrain your mind to begin receiving and sending the right vibrations so you can get what you want and make every goal seem attainable.

Bearj Jehanian is a Maximum Performance Speaker and Trainer. He teaches corporations, sales teams, colleges, universities and networking groups, how get past mindset roadblocks and hurdles and Break Down The Wall to Their Success Zone. You can find him at www.BreakDowntheWall.com/Bearj
 

Time Isn’t The Problem – YOU ARE

I don’t have enough time.

I’m too busy.

If only there were more hours in the day.

I have an old friend who always told me, “I’m so busy I don’t even have enough time to buy a pair of new jeans.” Seriously, he said that to me all the time! At first I believed him. I mean, why wouldn’t I? I don’t know his schedule. I have no idea what is time management to him and what he goes through on a daily basis. So who am I to argue? But I began to notice he said this to me all the time. It was the same complaint about not having enough time to buy a pair of jeans. For a while I thought, “this guy is going to be walking around in nothing but his tighty-whities soon.” It definitely wouldn’t have been a pretty sight!

Man with a clock over his face

I was young and naïve at the time so I would engage him and try reasoning with him, to no avail. I soon realized that this was a “go to” phrase for him – an attention getter. For me it eventually became white noise – sort of. I secretly kept a mental scoreboard of every instance he made that same excuse. He had enough time for everything else and I began to realize that the only thing he needed some extra to purchase was a pair of jeans. Is that possible?

So (after 4 years of hearing the same excuse) the next time he began his sob story about buying jeans, I called him on it. “Are you telling me that for four years you have been so busy that you haven’t had even a moment to purchase a new pair of jeans?” Realizing how absurd he must have been sounding, we both began to laugh.

If this garnished even a small chuckle from you, it’s probably because it resonated with you in some small way. Either because you have made the same kind of “time” excuse, or perhaps you know others who make this sort of lame excuse themselves.

Let me dive a little deeper into the content of the conversations I had with my friend.

  1. Almost every time we spoke, our conversations lasted 45 minutes to more than an hour. (I’m pretty sure I could have purchased several pairs of jeans in an hour.)
  1. His focus on our conversations was on his problem (time) not the solution.
  2. He focused the reason for his problem on everyone else.

I think we all have friends like this. They’re great people, but perhaps a little misdirected. My friend is a great person. One of the best I know. He would do, and has done, anything for me. Understand, this is not about character. It’s about mindset.

It’s likely that anyone this story made you think about, has a negative mindset directed at successful people. They may believe that somehow successful people caught a break in some way; they were born into it; or maybe they’re just disgruntled because they wish to be successful but are unable to capture what it is they want.

Being successful takes time.

Yes it does. But that doesn’t mean you need more time for it to happen. Most people falsely believe that in order to take on a new project or endeavor you need to add time to you day. Let’s again take a look at my friend, for example. He believed he didn’t have time to buy a single pair of jeans. The reality is he did. You know he did and so do I. In fact, subconsciously, even he knew he had time.

Then what is the problem?

Your language, mindset and willingness to accept responsibility for your results will determine the level of success you achieve. Let’s look at these time management tips

Your Language

My friend told himself so many times over again that he was strapped for time, that he began to believe it. Heck, even I believed it at first! There is nothing that sucks the time and energy from you more than you own language. The more you tell yourself what you can’t do, what you don’t have the time for, and the difficulties you will encounter, the more you will feel like a salmon trying to swim upstream but losing. Start by telling yourself what you can do, what you are capable of. You will improve your time management and watch your productivity rise. They should start teaching this in leadership training, as it is a part of time management skills but rarely recognized as such.

Be Solution-Focused, not Problem-Focused

Chalk board Problems and SolutionsSuccessful people are such, because they solve problems. The more problems you solve, the more successful you are. But how can you find solutions if all you focus on are the problems? The more you focus on problems, the more they will be all you see. It becomes a habit. Now is the time to create new habits and replace the old ones. Be a solution oriented person. Find answers not roadblocks. Forget about dead ends, and instead look for new paths. But here is the secret sauce… By focusing on the solution you will direct your language to be more positive and naturally solve your language issues! How cool is that? Spending time focusing on problems steals your time. Instead acknowledge your problem and focus on a solution.

Accept Responsibility for Your Own Results!

The problem with blaming others for your perceived problems is you give away your control. Just as with your language, you will develop the habit of blaming others, your surroundings, or circumstances for your results and when you do that you give away your power to change them. The result of that is that you lose direction in your life. Imagine a rudderless sailboat attempting to navigate the wind and currents with only a sail. There would be nothing to keep it on course, giving the wind and current all the control with the sail having little if any influence at all. Keep you and only you accountable for you success or failure. When you own your results, you will clear you pathway to success!

My Challenge For You!

Buy a small notebook or journal and begin to keep a log of your language. Log how often your make excuses instead of take action. Keep a record of how often you own your results. And list all the solutions you find for any problems you have.

Create Positive Language

Focus on Solutions

Own Your Results

Just like changing the food you eat will change your body shape and physical health, so will the mindset you create change the results you have and the time it takes to get those desired results. Your thoughts created who you are today, so it stands to reason that by changing those thoughts you can become a different person tomorrow.

Bearj Jehanian is a Maximum Performance Speaker and Trainer. He teaches corporations, sales teams, colleges, universities and networking groups, how get past mindset roadblocks and hurdles and Break Down The Wall to Their Success Zone. You can find him at www.BreakDowntheWall.com/Bearj
 

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