Have you listened to our Podcast?


Interpersonal Skills: 10 Ways to Improve at Work

group fist bumping representing their strong interpersonal skills

Image from Pixabay

Are you interested in improving your work ethic? Do you feel that your interpersonal skills could use fine-tuning, but are not sure where to start or how to reap effective changes in your professional habits?

Building and maintaining a solid repertoire of interpersonal skills are essential for a working professional of any level to succeed and grow within their respective field. If you are unsure what such habits even are, wonder why they are so important and want to know 10 practical ways to improve your interpersonal skills at work, look no further.

What Are Interpersonal Skills?




Problem Solving


Good Manners

Social Perception




Why Are They Important?

They Grow Colleague Relationships

Colleagues high-fiving

Image from Pixabay

Interpersonal skills are so important because they help you grow relationships with your colleagues. Whether you keep things strictly professional or grow deep friendships at work is not the point.

If you cannot work in a respectful, cohesive way with your colleagues, your greatest efforts will miss the mark. By building a friendly, positive environment and getting along with your team members, your workplace will be more enjoyable and your clients will reap the results.

They Enhance Productivity

It is difficult to be productive if you do not have good interpersonal skills. Being able to listen well, speak effectively, write succinctly, assess non-verbal communication, and respond in kind are the fibers of any successful business.

They Enable You to Reconcile Differences

These skills are also essential to being able to resolve conflict in the workplace. Conflict is a fact of life. No matter how much you try to avoid it or get along with others, the day will come when it will cross your path at work. If you know how to communicate effectively, you will have the tools to find a solution to the conflict and work towards an amiable resolution.

reconciling differences

Image from Pixabay

10 Ways to Improve Your Interpersonal Skills at Work

Maintain Positivity

The good news is, improving your interpersonal skills at worHaving excellent interpersonal skills means furthering a sense of open-mindedness. It is crucial to be open to a range of approaches in your work setting, engage in cohesive teamwork with your colleagues, ak is not rocket science. It may require alteration to your habits, some forethought, and effort, but it is well worth it. The first thing you can do to improve these skills at work is to maintain an attitude of positivity.

When you have a good attitude, not only does the work and environment seem lighter, but others will be drawn to this energy. Show respect to others, for your work, and for the business you are employed by. Things as simple as a cheerful smile, a friendly manner when engaging with others, and encouraging colleagues for a job well done are all easy ways to get started with having a more positive attitude at work.

Focus on Problem Solving

If you want to improve your interpersonal skills, you need to focus on becoming a good problem solver. If a conflict arises, think of methods to resolve it. Next, take your plan and incorporate it into a course of action to resolve the matter.

Identify goals and carry out the steps needed to achieve them. Once you have completed a plan, check to make sure it worked effectively and that the issue is truly resolved.

Hone Your Communication Abilities

You must hone your communication skills (written, oral, and nonverbal) to improve your interpersonal abilities. Your communication must transmit whatever message you require without inciting confusion or upheaval.

communication in the workplace

Image from Pixabay

Honing your communication abilities starts with being a good listener. To speak and convey your thoughts, you need to listen to others and acknowledge their own ideas and perceptions. Whether you are communicating via spoken words, written content, or using nonverbal cues like smiling, eye contact, and posture to engage, all mediums of communication are essential.

Be Inclusive

Being inclusive means fostering a team environment where listening and idea sharing is welcomed. A team can always accomplish more than the individual if functioning as a cohesive unit.

Acquire Management Skills

If you want to fine-tune your interpersonal capabilities, acquire management skills. This means having the ability to hold it together during a stressful day or when a co-worker gets on your nerves, purposefully or not. If you cannot control yourself, that negativity will spread outward and affect your entire work environment, stopping healthy communication dead in its tracks.

Be Accountable

You need to be accountable. To grow yourself as a professional and enhance your productivity, you must be ready and willing to take responsibility for your actions and be accountable to others along the way. This will not only engender trust and respect with your colleagues, but it will allow you to better learn from any mistakes you make.

Mind Your Manners

If you want to improve your interpersonal skills, a simple way to start is to mind your manners. Simple though it may seem, thoughtful gestures and attention to etiquette will go far in any business environment.

Be Socially Sensitive

Being socially sensitive means being able to recognize social cues and chances for professional growth. For instance, if you are trying to complete a particular task, social awareness will enable you to recognize negative colleagues that could inhibit your productivity, alerting you to stay away from them until the job is done.

Being socially aware also means being willing to listen to others and ask for help if you recognize expertise greater than your own. Be ready to ask questions and enhance your knowledge base so you can grow in your chosen career path.

holding hands to show care

Image from Pixabay

Stop Complaining

If you struggle with complaining or whining at the office, you must stop that behavior immediately. Nothing brings down a work environment or undermines teamwork so quickly as a negative, complaining spirit. Instead, focus on positivity and gratitude. Try to smile more. Reach out to other colleagues and express your thanks for the hard work they are doing.

Foster Gratitude

Along the same lines, our final tip is to foster an attitude of gratitude. Let others know you see their efforts and appreciate them. Help your colleagues if you see they need guidance and accept input from others with a spirit of teachability.


Interpersonal skills are the essential fibers of communication that enable us to speak and engage with each other. Your ability to interact effectively at work will define you as a professional. By changing your outlook and attitude, you can play a key role in affecting comprehensive change in the workplace through a fluid, cohesive communication approach.

Lack Of Motivation: Helpful Tips On How To Overcome Them

Silver iphone6 beside click pen and card

image source: unsplash.com via Hutomo Abrianto

Are your goals being sidelined because of your lack of motivation? Nothing can be more frustrating than knowing you have the potential inside of you to do something great, but you can’t muster up the energy to push yourself.

Your first instinct may be to beat yourself up and try to push yourself even harder. You’ve probably already realized that this doesn’t work—or, if it does, it only works temporarily. If you truly want to address your lack of motivation, you will have to take a different approach.

What Causes A Lack Of Motivation?

Every situation is different, so your lack of motivation could be caused by many different things. However, one pattern is nearly universal: If you have a lack of motivation, then this means that one part of you is resisting another part of you. Your inner-self has reached a deadlock, and you can’t move forward.

You have not reached a clear decision about what you will do next. Maybe your conscious mind wants to move forward with a plan, but your subconscious mind disagrees. You may not even realize that this is happening.

For instance, perhaps you want to go on a diet and, consciously, this seems like a great idea to you. You may even make meticulous plans for how you will stick to your diet. In the back of your mind, though, you’re worried that you will fail, that you will be too hungry, that it will be too hard, and so on. This will cause a lack of motivation.

At War With Yourself

Lack of motivation is just inner resistance most of the time. There could be a variety of reasons for it:

  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of success (and more work because of it)
  • Not wanting to face the discomfort of change
  • Resistance to letting go of old habits
  • Fear of being judged by others
  • Just plain old boredom because a goal is uninspiring, and deep inside you know you could do better

Lack of motivation comes from having split yourself in half. All the parts of yourself are not working seamlessly, and this is slowing you down. You can’t force all the different sides of you to agree, though. You may not be able to push past something as deep-seated as a fear of failure, for example. It's like trying to push against a wall.

Instead, you must take a more intelligent approach. You must discover and acknowledge all the sources of resistance before you can let them go.

Lack Of Motivation Is An Important Sign

Lack of motivation isn’t always a bad thing. It can be an important signal from your subconscious mind saying you shouldn’t be doing something! Rather than ignoring those signs and seeing them as a source of weakness, it may be a good idea to look within and try to figure out what your brain is trying to warn you about.

Sometimes, it will turn out you were approaching a goal for the wrong reasons, and you may need to let it go. Other times, you might discover that you’re facing an irrational fear, which you will have to conquer to reach the goal.

The Importance Of Motivation

Woman raising both hands on top

image source: pexels.com

Motivation will wax and wane throughout any task. It’s unreasonable to expect the same level of motivation throughout your journey. However, it’s important to have enough motivation to keep moving forward, even if it’s just one inch at a time.

This is why it’s important to take preventative measures. If you feel your motivation dropping, address it before it gets too low. Acknowledge that you're unmotivated and try to figure out the reasons. This will:

  • Keep you from spiraling into a lack of motivation
  • Keep your productive output steady and more predictable
  • Keep you from quitting early and losing all your progress

The version of you that decided to work on a goal differs from the hundreds of versions of you that will actually work on the goal. Keeping your motivation up is what will bridge the gap between that initially over-confident self and the many selves that are slaving away on your project.

Tips For Overcoming Lack Of Motivation

Young woman sitting in front of the seaside

image source: pixabay.com

Overcoming a lack of motivation is not always easy because it takes motivation to get over having no motivation! It’s kind of a catch-22, but there are ways to navigate this maze. Here are some important tips:

1. Pick The Right Goal

Nothing will cause a lack of motivation more than setting uninteresting goals. When you think about achieving what you set out to do, how do you feel? Does it make you excited or are you falling asleep just thinking about it?

It may seem silly to set boring goals, but most of us do it all the time. For example, you might say: “My goal is to have a stable job.” Maybe for some people, that’s exciting, but for most of us it’s more like a “requirement” than an achievement—and the reward is just more work. You will feel unmotivated.

Instead, focus on goals you know have a chance of fulfilling you. Maybe you can set a goal to find fulfilling work instead of steady work or to build an interesting business instead of one that makes a certain dollar amount per year. Focus on how the goal makes you feel for a moment, and not on the literal results. If it makes you feel nothing, it’s the wrong goal!

2. Have The Right Reasons

Another thing that will cause a lack of motivation is doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. External reasons come and go, but it’s only the internal motivation that will stay with you in the end.

For example, maybe you decided that you want to have a lucrative career because you secretly think this will help you finally look “successful” in the eyes of your overly critical mother. This is a recipe for disaster. Your brain knows your reasons are flimsy and based on neurosis, and this can lead to resistance.

If you suspect that this may be the case, try to trace your reasons for choosing a specific goal. If the reasons turn out to be silly or based on a need to soothe your wounded ego, then you may need to find a better reason.

3. Break Things Down And Don’t Worry About The Future

It seems counterintuitive to tell you not to think about the future when you’re aiming for a goal, but your goal will be achieved one day at a time, one moment at a time. Sometimes thinking too far ahead is what causes your lack of motivation.

Don’t worry too much about what you will do tomorrow. Just muster up the motivation to move forward today. You really can’t predict what kind of state you will be in a day from now or even an hour from now. Forget about it. Focus on the now. Do just one thing at a time to move your goal forward. These small actions accumulate.

4. Look At How Far You’ve Come

Let’s say you’ve been working on your goal for a while, and now you’re losing steam. It can help to look at how far you’ve come. Sometimes when we feel stuck, we forget about how much progress we’ve made. Things may move slowly, but remember that they are moving. As long as you keep your forward momentum, you will get there.

5. Build Social Support

One of the most important things that will keep you motivated even when you’re ready to quit is your social network. What kind of friends do you have? Are they supportive, indifferent, or downright discouraging?

If your social network isn’t lightly pushing you toward your goals, you might need to think about adding some new friends to your circle. If you suspect that the friends you have are toxic, you may need to cut people out of your life.

Try to find local groups of people who are into the same things you are. For example, if you’re trying to exercise more, you could join a running group. If you’re trying to start a business, your city might have some mastermind groups that could help you out.

Never underestimate the power of your social group!


Young man sitting in meditation pose

image source: pixabay.com

A lack of motivation isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes it can be your subconscious telling you that something is awry and you need to take a pause. Other times, a lack of motivation can be troublesome--like when you're reaching for a goal. It can even become a cycle where the lack of motivation itself spirals and makes you lose even more motivation.

Luckily, this is usually temporary. If you’ve chosen the right goal for you and are striving for the right reasons, there should be enough internal motivation to help push you forward when you get stuck. Filling your life with motivating people can also go a long way.

No matter what, always remember that you will inch towards your goal one day at a time. Just keep moving, and eventually, you will get there.

5 Ways to Leverage Twitter For Your Next Event

Twitter can make your event more productive.

Recent statistics show that 66% of Twitter users have discovered a new small or medium-scale enterprise or business on Twitter, 94% plan to purchase from the SMEs they follow and about 69% have purchased from an SME because of something they saw on twitter.

Twitter is a global space where people log on to so that they catch up on what is happening in the world now. A lot of event planners do not take advantage of this opportunity and this is why their event and whatever they seek to tell the world isn’t reaching the roof of the halls. Twitter can be used to build and gain your audience as well as create viable connections with people of value.

Event planners can use twitter as a resource for education, awareness, engagement for those who are in attendance along and those who are not. Twitter is a global space where people want to get short updates, be informed, engage with others.

Leverage Twitter

5 Ways to Leverage Twitter For Your Next Event

The following tips would help increase your chances of reaching them:

1. Reach Out to Influencers.

Social media influencers work as boom speakers. They say a thing and your target audience are all informed or are made inquisitive about the event. Perhaps you аlrеаdу hаvе gооd rеlаtіоnѕhірѕ wіth оріnіоn leaders but іf уоu don’t, gеttіng thеm іnvоlvеd wіth уоur event іѕ a grеаt way tо introduce уоurѕеlf and gіvе уоur еvеnt extra clout. They keep the conversation about your event alive. Just a mention of them can create even more exposure to the event or spread some key information.

2. Live Strеаmіng and Live Tweeting. If people cannot attend your event, you should take your event to them by live streaming and

If people cannot attend your event, you should take your event to them by live streaming and tweeting on Twitter. Vіdео іѕ thе bіggеѕt grоwіng trеnd оn Twіttеr, you can use youtube live, Facebooklive and other streaming platforms to include ѕоmе live ѕtrеаmіng in уоur lіvе twееtіng fоr guаrаntееd аddеd engagement. This makes your followers feel carried along, gives them an overview of what is going on and makes the next event a MUST ATTEND.

3. Oріnіоn Polls.

Involve people and attendees frоm thе bеgіnnіng by utіlіѕіng Twitter’s opinion роllѕ as a wау of hearing what they hаvе to ѕау аbоut the еvеnt оr make ѕuggеѕtіоnѕ. They соuld vоtе on аnуthіng frоm thе thеmе to thе tоріс оf thе keynote prior to the event to providing content for discussion based on the audience’s answers. Nоt оnlу will this еnсоurаgе уоur tаrgеt audience tо еngаgе with уоur event, it makes it more personal. Making the content more personal will еѕtаblіѕh a deeper соnnесtіоn. They will feel part оf thе рrосеѕѕ and the event will create a longer lasting impression because of how the content from the event impacts them personally.

4. Create your own HASHTAG.

Choose a hashtag fоr уоur еvеnt right at thе start оf thе рrосеѕѕ аnd ѕtісk wіth it. Keep іt ѕhоrt and be sure іt’ѕ unique. You will then be able to track your tweets with a search on Twіttеr. A hashtag search will only ѕhоw twееtѕ about уоur еvеnt. It allows people to get more information from a search and for you to track tweets. Promote your hashtag by іnсluding it on аll рrоmоtіоnаl mаtеrіаlѕ аnd encourage реорlе tо uѕе it іn your mеѕѕаgіng.

5. Hоѕt Cоmреtіtіоnѕ.

Crеаtіng a few competitions prior tо уоur еvеnt and during the event іѕ a great wау to kеер people іntеrеѕtеd аnd еxсіtеd. Offеrіng реорlе a chance tо wіn frее rеgіѕtrаtіоn оr VIP access оr рrіzеѕ оn Twіttеr wіll nаturаllу rеѕult іn engagement. One great competition that keeps people posting throughout the event is to provide a great prize for the person who tweets the most each day of the event and for the entire event. People love competitions and prizes, and it is a great promotional tool for you and your event.

Twitter offers a sphere of opportunities to those who can use it well and these tips will put your event on the edge of discovery. Use them effectively and build your audiences, promote important content, and gain valuable insights from your participants. With today’s social media environment and the easy access tools and resources, there is no reason not to engage your audience in valuable social media such as twitter.

5 Writing Skills for Effective E-mail Marketing

E-mail Marketing - handwritten text in a notebook on a desk - 3d render illustration.

If you own a business or if you’re planning to promote an organization of some kind, then you may be wondering how you can improve your email marketing skills so that more people are exposed to you. If you’re in this situation, then look no further because we have some of the very best tips so that you can develop some effective email writing skills.

Don’t Use Names in subject lines

You might be surprised because most customers want to know that they’re cared about and that they’re valued; therefore, a personalized email seems best, doesn’t it? Wrong.

Nowadays, people are becoming increasingly wary about their online security. If you include their names in an email, people may immediately disregard your email as being fishy and they’ll be less likely to visit your page, store, etc.

When people see their name in the subject line they know it is from an automated source because no-one actually dos this when sending an email except those automated programs. They want to feel like you are writing to and engaging them directly. We will give you some alternatives in the article to grab their attention.

The Subject

This is a big deal and touches a bit on your writing skills. We’ve all received that Email that is way too long. Most often, we delete it the moment it enters our inbox in fear of it being a scam or someone asking for money. They even have their spam filters set to pull out the common subject fields that automated email marketers are using. Watch out for special characters as they trigger spam filters too. 

Remember, the average human now has an attention span of 7 seconds, that is one second less than a goldfish. Short titles will get their attention. They either attract or repel.

Avoid having subject lines that are between 60 to 70 characters. Ideally, make your subject lines under forty-nine characters. Adestra conducted a study that demonstrated that subjects which had less than ten characters had an open rate of 58%. That is good since the industry average according to Mailchimp is around 21% depending on company size and industry. In the UK it is 24.88 says Smart Insights. This means that there is a correlation between shorter subject lines and the number of emails that are opened.

The Adestra study also showed that emails are skimmed based on the subject line so if you’re looking for people to be more aware of the subject you’re sharing, then you should go with shorter more impactful subject lines.

Here is writing skills list on how to improve your headlines:

1. Curiosity :

Make people want to know more about what the contents of the email are. Use words to draw attention.

  • Exciting development in weight loss
  • Dramatically increase reading speed
  • The experts are wrong
  • Once in a lifetime

2. Benefits:

People what to know what is in it for them before thy even open it.

  • Free Gift
  • Outstanding results
  • Money back guarantee
  1. Urgency:

If they feel like they are missing out, it can create a sense of urgency for them to see what it is. Combine these statements with other curiosity and benefits and see what happens to your open rate.

  • only 2 days left
  • limited offer
  • only 3 spaces remain
  1. Add a number:

Adding a number gives specificity to the email. It gives it a credibility from a psychological perspective. Adding a number like this can make it seem simple, easy to understand, fast to implement.


Improve your subject lines and you will improve your results. Michael Materson says “80% of the success of a sales letter is determined by the headline and lead.”

Give, give, give

Giving is one of the most important parts of effective email writing and effective email marketing. Everyone loves to get something for free. It doesn’t have to be anything big, but if you send an email with the promise of free samples or free products, then you’ll find that your clicks will be soaring in no-time.

If, for example, you own a blogging platform, then you may want to send out emails that will offer a free template for your customers to use and customize. You could even make contests that will have one winner who gains a big prize.

Give them educational content. There is a concept called reciprocity. When people learn something, receive a gift, or sample something, they feel compelled to do something for you in return such as make a purchase or make a referral.

What are ways you can give?

Know When to Send Your Emails

One way how to improve your mail opening is to know when the optimal time for you to send your emails is. Studies show that from the hours of eight at night to midnight is the best time for you to send out an email and gain exposure.


These tips are a great start to show you how to improve email marketing and writing skills? Effective email campaigns take work. It is not a one and done process. Marketing is also about testing to find the best response from your target market. Set up some test groups and find out which subjects, timing, and benefits will attract your customers. Before you know it, you will get plenty of your potential customers clicking!


Interview Dr. Tom Duncan | Self-Talk

Hi it’s Penny Zenker your host of Take Charge of Your Productivity. 

Here we explore your greatest potential by tapping into the ten core elements of time and energy management.  Today we are talking language.  Language is one of the four elements that make up our psychology.  In my experience, language is the most important of the ten critical elements that make up Take Charge of your Productivity.  I have come to realize that language dictates the quality of life because its centered around the communication we have with ourselves.  To simplify how all of these elements come together, I came up as a windmill as a metaphor for productivity.  The windmill has a gear mechanism that works from within, the smoother the blades turn the more productive you tend to be.  In taking charge of your productivity there are three segments that are critical.  They are psychology, strategy and sustainability.  Without all three of these, your productivity windmill is underpowered.  It turns but is not turning optimally.  There are ten core elements that make up these three blades.

Today you will learn the influence that self-talk has on our mind set.   How you can use positive self-talk to better physical health.  And how to shift our language to a more productive mindset. 

We are joined by Tom Duncan Md.  He is a family physician.  A master neurostrategist.  Since becoming one, he has reduced the number of antidepressants that he prescribes to his patients by over 85%.  Wow.  He knows how to get to the root cause of his patient’s problems.  Often eliminating the need for prescribed drugs.  He now shares these practices and principles with audiences around the world through his energetic speaking engagements.  His book due out next year.  His book will be avaible in 2014 is called Eliminating Ants, Cants and But’s Breaking through the Pattern of Depression.  He is creating amazing results with his patients and audience and he is also a dear friend of mine.  How fun to have you here Dr. Tom.

Dr:  I am so honored to be here with you today.  I am thrilled to share these insights that I have come across the past twenty years. 

P:  I know you as a man with an incredible passion for healing people.  Can you share with our listeners what motivated you to become a medical doctor?

Dr:  I wanted to help people. It was that simple.  I saw the compassion that the people gave my father when he was suffering from lung cancer.  I was in the army program ROTC.  I went on active duty and worked with amazing physicians and physicians assistants.  I noticed there the difference they make in people’s lives.  After going to medical school, and the time I spent in school, learning western medicine, what I noticed was and not making it right or wrong, I saw myself treating the symptoms and not the root cause of what was going on.  Now I wanted to take a look at that.  How can I help people heal themselves?  That is what really motivated me to step up. 

P:  It’s so important to get to the root cause of the problem.  I am so impressed with an 85% reduction in antidepressants.  How is that possible?

Inner voice and self talkDr:  What is amazing in my practice is it’s a spectrum of suffering people.  They come in from a complete range of suicidal to we all deal with our humanity.  Struggling with finances, relationships and everyone is struggling with that.  What I noticed was a pattern of behavior that is taking place and I was wondering if I could share a personal story with you.  It was several years ago and I was struggling with who I was, what I wanted to be and just what is it that was my calling.  I was a practicing physician in the army.  It was going well but my personal life was in shambles.  I was developing symptoms of depression and anxiety and I went to my colleagues for help.  I was given medication to help with depression.  Then other symptoms happen and then more prescriptions.  Pretty soon I was on a cocktail of medication.  My health wasn’t very good.  I was extremely overweight.  Just not having a very healthy lifestyle.  Then I was struggling with a marriage going through a divorce.  Then the pinnacle of all of this Penny, was I was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  How am I gonna take care of this?  All I could think of was having a neurosurgeon going through my mouth and to my brain to take out this tumor out of my pituitary.  I thought there has to be a better way.  That is when I started seeing these patterns.  Not only in myself, but in all of the other people coming to me.  I don’t think it’s genetic.  What is turning those genes on and off has got to be in the environment.  That is where I saw the power of self-talk.  Our self-talk is so important and I believe it triggers those environmental effects within our genetic code that can cause the genetic or the chemical imbalance within our brain that gives us symptoms of depression.  To get back to the question, how have I been able to reduce prescription is by showing people that they have a choice.  They are not at the consequence of everything around them.  They have control of two things in their life Penny.  Those two things:  1. We get to control our inner talk.  2.  The things that we put into our body.  I know you have Dr. Isaac Jones coming up who is amazing.  He is going to talk about cellular health and detox.  Today, I am going to talk about the effects of self-talk on healthy cells and how it generates overall health and vitality.  By addressing the self-talk and they are actually in charge where they can build an emotional muscle over time to become emotionally fit.  Where I talk with people in my clinic, I ask them if they can work out once and be fit for life.  And they say no, of course not.  Its the same thing as becoming emotionally fit.  You have to build and believe and become associated with it.  You build that muscle over time.  Its absolutely amazing to see people step into their own selves and own it.  They see that yes, they can do it.

P:  What’s great there is this is the number one important element out of Take Charge of Productivity, simply focusing on that muscle of language, you have been able to help these people to reduce their antidepressants.  That is incredible.  Tell us about your upcoming book.  Eliminating Ants Cant’s and Buts:  breaking depression.  What does that title mean?

Dr:  I love keeping it simple.  Many of your listeners or yourself are familiar with what not to wear.  Have you heard of that show?  What amazes me is watching how they take somebody who is doing beautiful things in their life as far as their vocation, but the exterior doesn’t quite match that.  They take them through a process and at the end they come out transformed.  They have beautiful hair and makeup and clothes that fit their body.  What’s amazing with that is that their self-talk makes shift as well to support their new self-image.  How that shows up with them is just truly amazing.  With my book, I help people take that journey from where they are at with their current self-image, and they build the little nuggets to where they want to take that.  They transform themselves. 

P:  I love that.  That program shows us that our beliefs are created through our self-talk.  Many people think they can’t change who they are.  If you take off what you are wearing and put on something else, you can believe what you want to believe.  It’s true.  Think about the way you feel differently when you are wearing sweat pants versus a suit.  Or you are dress in a tuxedo.  You get a completely different feeling.  I think that is a great metaphor for people to think about.  It’s as simple as changing clothes.

Dr:  I agree.

P:  I am excited for your book to come out.  I wanted to ask you about the concept of hierarchy of communication.  How self-talk impacts everything that we do.  Tell us specifically in your book how language plays a role.

Dr:  It’s simply how language creates our inner feelings, emotions and our self-talk.  We are either growing or we are dying.  So it’s the struggle I see with people.  Faith verses fear type of thing.  When people use language like I am a failure and I can’t succeed, that creates the fear factor.  It creates a protective effect within our body and we shut down the overall growth factor but we become into that fight or flight response.  We talked about this before, when emotions run high, intellect goes low.  Then it shuts down our immune system.  Then it releases the cortisol from our adrenal system.  It’s just in the protective mode.  So there is no energy creation during that process.  If you are going with more of a process where I am controlling the meaning to make it empowering meaning I am able to transform that energy and continue with those positive thoughts. 

P:  Through your book, you are teaching people how to achieve this.  Yes?

Dr:  You know what is amazing.  It’s as simple as driving a car with a stick shift.  The first time you get in and put it in first gear.  You let off the clutch perfectly and you drove smoothly.  Ha ha ha….No I actually went over a two foot embankment and almost ran over a truck.  My father made me get back in and drive it immediately, what a great gift.  The thing is now, over time as I exercise that emotional muscle, it’s just become who I am.  How I am able to show up.  Again, we all start where we are.  There is a beautiful place to be.  Just continue to visualize where you want to go.  Live with solution and measure results and keep building that muscle.  It is an easy thing to do when you look at it as a fun playful process.  You can think, I am just changing my shirt here.  The reticular activating system, once we become aware of it consciously, our conscious mind helps us scan that.  Focusing on what you want plays a huge role.  On the flip side, I will joke around and say to my clients, whatever you do, we are going to get series, I will put on my serious face:  Don’t think of a blue monkey.  They look at me like I am crazy.  I said, don’t you think about it.  They laughed because they did.  My point was to show them that even though I told them not to think about it, they went ahead and did it anyway.  I tell people about the pattern.  Saying I don’t want this and I don’t want that….you will get what you don’t want.  If you don’t have an idea of where you are going any road will get you there.

P:  It’s time to take a break.  Stay tuned as we get into more depth of language.

Hi everybody.  I am Coach Penny Zenker and we are speaking about the power of self-talk with Dr. Tom Dunkin.  Author of Eliminating Ants, Cant’s and Buts: Breaking the Patterns of Depression.

Dr:  Thank you so much for having me on your show.

P:  My next question is:  how do you define productivity and why?

Dr:  Not only am I a family physician, I also am part owner of a business.  It is near and dear to my heart.  My definition is simply an equation of productivity equals your energy divided by the resistance.  Energy equals the amount of time and effort it takes to accomplish a task verses the resistance of getting those tasks completed. 

P:  I like that.  Based on that equation, what are the factors and elements that have the biggest impact on productivity?

Dr:  What I truly see is the rapport within oneself.   Again, self-talk.  It’s the biggest takeaway from productivity.  What I see is not only within myself, but other people.  It’s a pattern of doubting of whether I can or can’t do it.  We spend more time holding onto old patterns that no longer serve us and fight that blue monkey.  Verses letting that go and focusing on what we do want.  That is what I see.  Its having that alignment.  I talk about that in my book.  How to align your conscious mind and unconscious mind.  Your mission, your vision and to practice that with visualization.  Then you can live that.  You can measure the results. 

P:  Is that the energy part of the equation part?

Dr:  No that is in the resistance part.  Energy is completely separate.  You have two ways to increase productivity.  You can either increase the amount of energy or reduce the resistance.  Reducing the resistance. 

P:  Ok, can you take a moment to talk about the energy side of things.

Dr:  Energy when it relates to self-talk, is how we feel about ourselves.  How do we actually see ourselves?  That is going on through our values, beliefs, past experiences.  When I talk about my vision I see myself as a healer.  Someone who is passionate about helping people and helping them experience their dreams.  When I say that, right now I have goosebumps from head to toe.  That energizes me.  That is the power.  That is the energy I am talking about when you are looking at productivity.  How do you see yourself?  How your language creates that juice inside of you that makes you want to serve somebody.  How can I become more?  How can I grow and give back and make a difference in this world today.

P:  I told the listeners that you are passionate.  They are seeing it!  Let’s go to the x factor.  You talked about the equation and you talked about the different factors that have an impact.  Is there one thing that you would say is the x factor?

Dr:  Yes, it’s the resistant portion of that.  Instead of adding more energy, it’s an option, and sometimes it’s easier to just let go of the things that no longer serve you.  The obstacles that I have seen are the ones we place in our own minds.

P:  Interesting concept.  Letting go of the resistance seems to be the most challenging aspect. 

Dr:  The difference between faith and fear here.  Even though we are not doing things that are serving us, it’s because it’s comfortable.  We humans don’t want to let go of something that is known even though it is no longer serving us.  If we focus in on our faith, that yes, there is something more, we can become more, I truly believe there will be a shift in our psyche that will support that.  That is where you have to believe and let go of the baggage.  One of my issues is with all of this energy and passion, sometimes I can be an emotional leader.  So I used to fight don’t open the fridge, don’t open the fridge, when I was upset.  I spend more time saying don’t open the fridge, instead of reaching in and grabbing food, I have a bottle of water at eye level.  I grab the water and keep moving.

P:  What a great strategy.

Dr:  I have let go of the thing that doesn’t serve me.  Instead of fighting against it, use it and make a healthier choice in the process. 

P:  You have created this strategy out of that and you know that is happening so you have taken your environment and set it up so that you have a better choice available.  From your experiences as a family physician, how does language affect our health and physiology? 

Dr:  You hear the commercials that say we are what we eat.  I am also a firm believer that we are what we think.  We wouldn’t pour kerosene in the gas tank of our car and wonder why it doesn’t run well.  We do that to our body sometimes I think what you see when you are not eating the right foods, sometimes your body will reflex that through disease.  You can be overweight or high blood pressure.  You really just don’t see the impact it has on the brain.  We have a tendency to neglect it and say it must not be true if we can’t see it.  But if you really truly think about it, the same thing that happens to us when we are eating unhealthy foods, the same thing is when we are not thinking healthy thoughts. 

P:  There is a direct correlation between our physical health and our mental health.  If we talk about the communication as a piece of our mental health, right?

Dr:  Yes.

P:  In my program I talk about the quality of our life is determined by the quality of our communication.  I don’t mean in the form of affirmations.  Saying things over and over again.  That won’t make it truer.  But really generating positive self-talk and quality questions to generate energy that are going to have a huge impact on our outcome.  From your experience as an md, how much of our energy comes from language?

Dr:  I think it is the hub of all of our energy.  From my perspective, energy comes from 3 different sources.  Instinctively from the food we bring in and also from the activity we have.  Physical activity will generate energy as well.  Our mission of who we are and then from our autobiography of what are the events in our lives and that all feeds through our self-talk and self-image to create the spark in the morning that wants us to go out to make a difference.  The strongest force in the human psychology is how we define ourselves.  Our self-image, our identity.  So when you see yourself as someone who is passionate and energetic, you step in and you own that shirt or tuxedo and it becomes who you are. 

P:  We gain some valuable insight about our identity last week. Larry Ackerman.  So for our listeners, if you didn’t listen to that program you will want to go back and listen to that.  Tell us, in your practice, how do you see using language with your patients?

Dr:  I had this unique gentleman, who is 69 years old.  Just the sweetest greatest guy in the world.  He comes in with his wife.  She is in tears.  His kidneys were shutting down from his diabetes.  His blood sugar was 250.  When I was talking with him, it was kind of like, he wasn’t owning it.  Bottom line, I said you had to get your diabetes under control.  He said, well, we will see.  I said, we’ll see?  That is not good enough.  You deserve better.  What is it about yourself from the past when you had to face a challenge, would you have said, we’ll see?  Do you really think with “the we’ll” see approach you will actually do that.  He said, no, I guess not.  I said how can you own this right now because not only do you deserve better, your bride deserves you as well.  What was amazing was to see that shift when his eyes lit up and he said, that’s right I own this and can do this.  I saw him just the other day and to have him walk in, he was lit up.  You could tell as a man, he owned himself.  His wife was just beaming at him.  You could feel the love that they were sharing.  He said, I have got this.  We checked his blood sugar, it went from over 250 down to 150 in seven weeks, Penny.

P:  And did you prescribe any medication?

Dr:  No!  And actually the medication he was on, he has goals to start to get off. 

P:  I have heard people say they can’t change who they are.  I know that people change all of the time, on a dime.  Just like this man you are referring to.  Often, it can be from an event, or it can be from simple questions at the right place at the right time.  Do you have any experience with asking the right question at the right time?

Dr:  I had a man come in.  Blue collar, salt of the earth, kind of guy.  He came in telling me he didn’t want any of my medications.  He said he was depressed and hated his job and life.  I said, wow, well welcome.  So what I found out was that he built guard rails for the state and so he was out working every day and really making a difference.  The love of his life was his two twin girls and to watch him talk about his beautiful girls, he would light up like a Christmas tree.  I go oh, so what is it that you do?  I build guard rails, it’s a dead end job.  I asked how are you serving people?  Through a series of questions, I got to the point of helping him realize that we was saving lives.  To watch him shift into that new thought process of how he sees himself.  I said, so not only do you save lives so other parents can go home be with their families, what else does it allow you to do.  After a few questions, he realized he is able to pay his mortgage for his own so that his daughters have a safe, loving place to grow up in.

P:  Perhaps you could share a story where it’s made a difference in your life.

Dr:  It was a day that I was talking with you.  As a busy physician, I see 25 patients a day with mountains of paperwork.  In the past, I used to label my paperwork as drudgery, and difficult and something I didn’t like.  You asked me a question.  You said, how is it that you can continue to serve your clients?  I went oh my gosh, you are right.  The light bulb went on.  I went I am continuing to serve my clients by doing this charting.  From that shift Penny, I have been able to work less because I get my work done on Thursday night before I leave.  I have time now to do other things that I enjoy.

P:  Could you share what was the strategy to that? 

Dr:  Within our charts, we have a picture of our client.  So, I would become interactive with my client and it became easier to for me to go deeper into each patient. 

P:  Time for our final break. 

Welcome back to the last segment of this week’s Take Charge of your Productivity.

I am joined today by Dr. Tom Duncan. 

P:  Tom, this has been an incredible show today.  I know they have walked away with a lot of value.  Where can we learn more information about you, your book and your programs?

Dr:  Thank you.  My website is under construction DrThomasDuncan.com

P:  I know you are releasing a new online healing program.  Could you share more about that?

Dr:  Yes, I was suffering from a brain tumor in my pituitary gland.  Through the process of visualizing the positive and turning off the negative.  I was able to absolutely heal myself.  I am creating visual programs that help deal with headaches, fatigue, sleep issues, stomach issues, etc.  It will allow people the ability to empower themselves so they too can heal themselves just as I did.

P:  What an incredible resource.  I can’t wait for that to come out.  I also understand that you are focusing more time on public speaking.  You are taking it on the road.  What are the topics that are available to speak on?  What audiences do you speak to?

Dr:  My audience is very diverse.  I see people on the entire spectrum from those who are suicidal to people who just want to become more. 

P:  Go back and listen to this program again because I love that equation that you brought up in the beginning.  You said it so eloquently.  The equation of productivity was the combination of energy and resistance.

Dr:  The combination of energy divided by resistance. 

P:  I wanted people to hear that again.  It is so powerful.  To summarize todays program.  Language is a key driver in energy management and directly affects the results we get or create.  If we ask ourselves and others quality questions, we get quality answers.  It is as simple as it sounds.  By changing your self-talk, you can change the quality of your life.  In my webinar membership program, I go into more detail on the hierarchy of communication.  How you can change that to optimize your confidence.  Regulate your emotions.  Feeling good about what you are achieving and your results which are ultimately how you measure your productivity.  You have heard here from Dr. Tom Duncan.  He provides amazing resources.  His site is DrThomasDuncan.com to get some amazing resources around the language component.  Please send us a message on Facebook, tweet on twitter, text us and really let us know what you think.  Go to my site www.facebook.com/PennyZperspective  and on Twitter you can reach me on www.twitter.com/pennyzenker  If you have any questions, please post them or send me an email.  Join us next as we talk to Dr. Jones, CEO of Designer Health Centers and the world leading detoxification expert.  He will share with us common mistakes people make and damage their overall health.  Until next week, this is Penny Zenker reminder to Take Charge of Your Time and Energy.  It’s a choice you can feel good about.

Interview Tish Squillaro | Language

Hi Penny Zenker.  Your host of take charge of your productivity.  On this show, we host great authors, leaders and entrepreneurs to explore your greatest potential by tapping into the ten core elements of time and energy management.  Sometimes I have been called the Queen of Perspective because I provide prospective.  For every show, we bring in multiple authors with different perspectives.  To simply how I came up with the ten elements that are required for quantum growth.  I came up with a windmill as a metaphor.  The windmill has a gear mechanism that works from within. The smoother and faster the blades turn, the more productive you tend to be.  There are three segments, or blades that are critical.  They are championship psychology, winning strategies, and sustainable results.  Without all three of these, your windmill is underpowered.  It will turn but not optimally.  There are ten core elements that make up these three blades. 

Today’s topic is language.  Language is one of the four core elements that make up our championship psychology.  You will notice that we talk about language on this show twice as much as any other topic.  That is because language is the most important ingredients in creating your championship psychology.  After years of studying methods for balancing your life and creating increases for my client’s productivity.  I found that mastering your language is the biggest driving voice beyond the quality of our life.  It drives our emotions, not the words we speak out loud, but the language in terms of the patterns of thought that we engage in.  The questions we ask ourselves.  Our behavior stems from that communication.  The quality of our language dictates the quality of everything we do.  Our relationships and our ability to reach true success. 

Today, I am speaking with coach, author, entrepreneur and motivational speaker Tish Squillaro.  We will learn 4 basic things today.  The seven areas of head trash that could be holding you back.  Tips on how to clean up your junk or negative emotions and why to hold onto that junk.  Letting go of it, will dramatically increase your productivity and your success.  Tish has more than 17 year’s experience in advising executes in planning, organization, and human capital allocation.  Tish is the CEO and founder of Candor Consulting.  She is a graduate of the Unniversity of Pennsylvania.  Tish lives with her husband and two children in Valley Forge, Pennsylvania. 

Welcome Tish it is so great to have you.

T:  Thank You.

P:  We connected on a really fun night.  I can tell by your energy that we are soul sisters and as I read more about what you were doing, there is so much of a connection of how we think and present ourselves.  When I heard the title of your book, I knew we were going to have a good time with this.  What is Head Trash.  The name of your book.

T:  Head Trash is something we all have.  It’s an emotional way of looking at how you make your decision.  Tim Thomas, my coauthor and I wrote the book out of stories.  Working with people in business who suffered from not their intelligence disappearing but when their emotions would control what they are doing.  And we put together the top seven.  That we label Head Trash.  Everyday emotions that are healthy when they are managed by you and become unhealthy when they impact and are managing you.  For example:  control.  Control is important because it give you structure, confidence.  But when it becomes an obstacle that stops you from having others help or thinking others views might be as important as yours, or delegating so you can get more done.  It is a problem.  It is no longer healthy.  That is what Head Trash is.  Looking at the typical emotions that we are all going to have and all should have to make us humans and not robots. 

P:  In the self-development world, people who are really involved sometimes go over the top and don’t allow themselves to have those types of feelings.

T:  Head Trash is written with a sense of humor but a lesson.  So when you read it, you will see it’s not to make you afraid of it.  We have it.  You will see it.  It’s on the table.  Something you can handle and manage.  You better figure out what are your head trashes so you can be ahead of it. 

P:  It’s a part of who we are. 

T:  There are seven distinct ones.  Not everyone has all seven.  You will see that there might be one or two that really impact someone over what the other two might be for someone else.  Not identical. 

P:  Don’t leave us hanging.  What are the seven?

Language and Head TrashT:  The first one is control.  Then it’s insecurity.  Arrogance.  Paranoia.  Anger. Fear and Guilt.  If you are anything like myself you can live through any of those any given moment of the day.  Especially if you have to drive and commute.  There will be one or two that you might say to yourself, I see where that gets in my way.  I need to fix it.  It’s stopping me from moving forward.  The book is about keeping yourself in motion.  Or its making me make a decision I know is not right and I have to live with the consequences afterwards.

P:  A similar philosophy we have is with these emotions, it’s important to recognize it and feel it.  The key is not to live in it.  When you live in it that is when you have problems.  It’s not healthy.  It’s healthy to feel it but you need to manage it.

T:  We give you a lot to look at, read and understand.  You must come with the acceptance and the willingness to do something about it.  You really have to be open to it and willing to do something.  I have worked with a lot of companies and senior executives who have a lot of responsibility but were not ready to do something about it.  Nothing really changed. 

P:  What makes us hold on to our trash?

T:  Sometimes we don’t even realize it’s the thing causing the issue.  Many times, it’s easy to point the finger at others and make it their fault or come up with excuses or reasons why it’s happening that have nothing to do with you.  We wrote the book because we were discussing a client that had a difficult decision to make for their company.  We did everything right.  He felt so as well.  He was all set to make the decision and knew that everyone in the company was waiting for that decision to be made.  They knew something had to change.  And he never did it.  He really suffered with having that.  We then sat with him and said what is it?  What is stopping you?  Tim looks over at me and said its all in his head.  Its the emotional barrier.  Its head trash.  It’s blocking him.  I said, I love that term, we have to write a book.  Three years later we did.  It was a real life story.  We saw someone who knew what he had to do but his emotion of his insecurity that others would feel that he didn’t know what he was doing stopped him from taking that chance.  By doing nothing, he thought that was a good thing. 

P: Doing nothing is a decision.  People need to know that.

T:  Typically it’s the wrong decision.  Driving through things on neutral.  You usually get left behind. 

P:  It’s like a kid’s game:  hot or cold game.  What happens when you stand in the room and you don’t move?  Or there is no feedback.  So when you get closer to the item you are looking for in the room, then the other person tells you are warmer, warmer, warmer.  When you move in another direction, you get colder, colder, colder.  That is our intuition.  If you stand still, there is no feedback.

T:  We call head trash is when you get stuck.  You don’t do something you should do.  You are not having that conversation with someone you should have.  The book is written from a business perspective because I am a business consultant.  We have gotten a lot of feedback since the book has been written.  It’s a life lesson.  You make decisions as a parent, a friend, a colleague, you don’t have to be working with them.  You still get stuck.  You can still see it.  Once you start to understand and know what the issues are, once the trash is identified, it will start to allow you to figure out what is next.  As long as you are going that next step and taking that movement, you are gonna go somewhere.

P:  Then you get that feedback.  I think strategies are cross contextual.  There are so many things that we do that we have strategies in one area of our life and we don’t think about applying it in other areas of our life.  It’s important to look at strategies and see how you can bring those into other areas.  That might be also how people deal with their head trash.  If they get stuck in decision making in one area how can they leverage off of a different decision in another part of their life.

T:  They should look at the why.  Many of the emotions that we have as individuals start very young.  They say at 9 or 10 your style and fears and your challenges or your confidences start to form themselves.  I joke about that with many clients.  Many times I feel like I am with my 9 and 10 year old.  It is about their emotions saying, no, I don’t want to do this.  Its not practical.  I say you may want to but you can’t.  Things aren’t that black or white.  I do think we carry that through our lives and relationships and our work life.  It becomes part of how we make our decisions.  We do look back to see where these have come from.  It’s easier to unravel those emotions.  They are emotions.  It’s not a technical term.

P:  It’s my belief that once you get the learning from the event, then you are allowing yourself to let go.  The only reason we hold on to anger sadness, hurt, and guilt, because we haven’t gotten the learning yet.  We haven’t met our needs and you probably heard the expression we will re-experience different types of situations.

T:  Also, I have witnessed having really capitalized on the seven drives, those challenges is that people sometimes have a misunderstanding of what is actually impacting them.  I will tell you a funny story that happened to me.  It’s good to hear it when someone has lived it.  Writing the book with Tim, I had my own preconceived notions of what my head trash was.  I have all seven.  But not all seven get in my way.  I thought there would be one or two for sure would be mine.  We came up with something called the Head Trash Index.  Your listeners can take a free online survey its HeadTrash911.com.  There is something called the head trash index and it allows you to really look at the seven impacting you the most. 

P:  I took it. 

T:  We also created a workshop for people interested in doing it for a full day.  You learn what to do with the head trash.  When I took it, I assumed what mine would be it I was off.  The two head trashes were anger and guilt.  I said out loud because that is me, that is not right.  I don’t have anger and guilt.  This assessment tool can’t be right.  In the room were people who knew me well and said, oh its right.  My husband was there.  He gave me an example of exactly what I did that falls into place of those two trashes.  He made me realize that sometimes we have preconceived notions.  I thought control was one of mine.  But it wasn’t.  Controlling is a different format but anger is the inability to separate your immediate need to react and respond with impulse to do something.  Sometimes it manifests as yelling or body language that sends a message.  Or it could be I need to tell you what I am thinking right now.  That is not always the best approach.  When you look at these head trashes, the books gives examples and types of ways it will manifest, you may learn more about what one of these emotions are that you have every day. 

P:  We see ourselves differently.  We don’t always immediately understand what the root cause is.  I am all about cause and effect.  Understanding and getting to the root cause of something.  If you want to fix it, you have to go there.  We have to take a break.  Stay tuned as we get into more depth about the language and unconscious impact that you are having with having head trash.  And how you can get more productive by releasing and managing it.

Welcome back.  We are speaking about the junk that is holding you back.  I am speaking with Tish Squillaro. 

P:  Just before the break, we were talking about cause verses effect.  Getting to the root.  To summarize, you mentioned that getting to the root cause isn’t always what you think it is.  Do you have anything to say about getting to the root cause and how people can appreciate where they are looking more at a symptom than a cause?

T:  It’s about asking yourself some hard questions.  What is stopping me?  Why am I allowing this to happen?  If you just asked yourself those questions or at least one of them as you are approaching an important decision.  Many times we are very easily distracted by everyone around us.  I do think that if we ask ourselves, hold on, I am a believer of writing it down.  We have the ability to be virtual, but there is something about taking pen and paper and writing your thoughts down.  To me, that is what I do.  I try to break down the real reason that I am doing what I am doing.  And it will give you a road map of some sort.  It will.  Once you realize what it is, then I would try to look at the seven to see if one of the emotions sound like that.  If you get a chance to get the book, we do give you examples of how to see these head trash moments manifest themselves in a relationship or situation.  I immediately know that there are certain ones that will impact me differently.  Then it’s my job to say, how do I change that?  People get more confident and secure once they know what they are up against.  It’s the unknown that I have learned from coaching folks.  Those elements of the uncertainty, the after effects.  If you don’t know where you are going it’s harder to say, I can do this.  Once you know, it helps.  That is why we wrote Head Trash.  We all have it so let’s just deal with it. 

P:  How do you know how bad is it?  How bad do I really have it?

T:  The index is one outlet because it gives a numeric score.  We called it the severity scale.  We do give some guidance.  The harder part of lack of making decisions, it’s not the immediate thing you did, because that usually goes by really fast, its living with it.  The consequences.  The after affect.  The results of how it impacted everything around you.  That is where most people get the most discouraged.  Or where they feel the most pain.  Living through the non-decision or bad decision they made.  Not making no decision. 

P:  When you are up against making a decision, when you write down things about the decision, and think ok, by not making this decision, what are the consequences?  What are the results I am expecting?  What are you preventing?  Go through these questions to understand what is really the end result of the decision.  What are you looking to achieve?  How is it protecting you?  Its a decision not to make a decision.  We think its protecting us from fear. 

T:  Many times I have to say to myself is what am I trying to do here?  I can get caught up in the emotion of doing a lot of things and I have missed the one thing I am trying to do.  For example we are going through the babysitting moment of our life and I can apply head trash to that.  As I meet different people and think about them caring for one of the most important things in your life, you lose sight of what you are looking for.  Do I want someone who will entertain them and be there friend?  Or someone who will help me as a parent and will follow the rules?  You start to conform the people you meet into the role.  My husband and I had to write down, what are we looking for?  I was hesitant on making a decision on who.  We had to put a line in the sand and make a decision and make one. 

P:  you needed clarity.

T:  What do I really want in this person?  Sometimes we don’t have good expectations set and boundaries for the person and it fails.  I think that is how people should look at things as they are about to make a decision.  You have to figure out what gets in your way of making a solid good decision.  Here is an important one and it took me sitting down and writing down what I really wanted out of this.  What would be right for the situation based on the decision I want.  I went through the list again.  It became easier. 

P:  All of that comes down to one word:  Clarity.  I have found that leaders are having trouble engaging their work force and it’s because they don’t have clarity in their own strategy and vision and they are not able to communicate that.  I just watched Simon Sinek the why guy speak.  When people connect to that WHY, they will be more engaged.  By getting clarity on where you have your head trash, is also going to help you take that next step to progress.  That is really cool.  Let’s say our listeners have taken their index and have gotten their results, and they have reviewed it and read your book and understand where their mind clutter is, what do you think is the relation to clutter in our environment that we create? 

T:  You kind of live the life you have created.  If you created a cluttered non clear dramatic complex environment you are probably living that every day.  You will have a lot of that in your mind.  Simplify your life.  I do think that life is complicated and there are many situations that are dealt to us that we can’t control.  But you break down the areas in which you have most comfort and the ones you don’t.  Manage what we don’t have comfort.  Those are the ones that clutter you the most.  Its clarity and alignment.  If you are trying to get clarity you have to figure out where it aligns into where you are going.  Clear vision is key but also articulating the alignment so that everybody sees it.  Many times the CEO or a leader has clarity but they haven’t been able to communicate it.  That is the vehicle to get the alignment.  The need to know how to articulate a vision a message, a map is just as important as having clarity.  People that struggle with being able to communicate their message, can’t get it out in their head out to others.  That is the part where you have to find the head trash.  When we look at head trash, we look at it as the interaction with others as the thing you are going to use it for.  Whatever you do, you are going to have to interact with another human being. 

P:  We are going to shift a bit and talk about productivity.  Head trash has impact on productivity.  I ask every guest this:  how do you define productivity and why?

T:  For me, I think its motion and movement.  If I am on the move, always doing something, figuring out how to keep moving, I will be productive.  Productivity is described as thinking things through and analyzing pros and cons and putting together a road map and then acting.  For me sitting still and thinking something through is not productivity. 

P:  You feel productive.  It is a feeling.  You can also measure it by output especially if you are producing widgets.  You feel more productive when you are in motion and movement.  What are the factors that are the greatest impact on your productivity?

T:  I always start out my new year with the same question for myself.  What will I do this year to do better than last year?  Being in my own business, I only have me to talk to.  I try to think about what I will do to be productive.  I have my mechanisms of having to be out meeting with people.  Seeing and talking to people.  My drive is really interaction.  I feel that if I am productive, my first two months like that, the rest of my year always unfolds.  If I am not out doing those things, and Mother Nature did not work to my benefit by having storms and things to keep me steady and inbound, I started to panic that my productivity for the full year would have been impacted because my plan is to be on the move and engaging.  I look at it each year with how do I get myself out there?  Writing a book was an element of measure for my productivity because I can’t reach as many people individually as I could with a book.  If people are interested to learn more they will buy the book before they seek me out. 

P:  Interacting with people and getting out there in the beginning of the year is a measurement for you, is there an additional x factor for you?

T:  I think my self-confidence is boosted in that three months that I am using that plan.  I see traction.  I find new people that are very engaged by what I am doing.  I have new clients.  Those are the x factors for me that I know as reassurance that we are on track. 

P:  Ok. 

T:  From a personal standpoint, I can live well with change but there are certain things about change that I don’t like.  I am an old soul that likes longevity.  I have long relationships.  I don’t have a lot but they are long.  I am loyal to the relationships I have.  I will get my hair done at a place that is very far away from the house and go to the same person because for 17 years, we are friends now.  I am sure there are tons of places near my home.  Instead, I drive 45 minutes, park, come back, and I am gone all day.  When I have to go through change, I usually do it very drastically.  I will do a complete redo.  For this year I did three things at once that were to me my reboot to change.  I have changed my phone.  I replaced my nanny.  I got a new car.  They may not sound major to people, but personally when you go through that much change in that short period of time and everything is new to you, and you are an old soul that was a lot.  I do everything in 3’s.  That is my x factor in my personal life. 

P:  How important is teaming your head trash to our productivity? 

T:  anything that slows you down.  Since productivity is movement.   I do think that our head trash, no matter which ones, do slow you down.

P:  Resistance

T:  The second thing is maturing.  We should grow all of the time.  By having head trash sometimes we don’t allow new.  That is why I like to change a few things to make me feel like I am going through a growth spurt.  Head trash could be fear, afraid, insecure and not comfortable with change.  That could hold you back.

P:  I agree that growth in itself creates traction.  As long as you are moving, you are learning and growing.  Imagine how much flexibility you give yourself to instead of failure.  Faith verses failure.  Faith is knowing you had an experience because there is something to learn from it. 

T:  You should also give yourself room to fail.  My ability on failure is its going to happen and I am going to make mistakes.  I make them more than I like.  I give myself the one day rule.  I can feel sorry for myself or be mad at me or another for one day, then I have to wipe it away.  That doesn’t mean I am going to forget what happened.  I don’t let it impact me more than 24 hours.  That has been a really good boundary for me.  I have had a lot of change.  A couple of businesses where I have had partners. They live in the past and they still are reeling over something that happened 20 years ago.  So, I found a rule for me, it doesn’t mean one day is enough for everyone. 

P:  Love it.  The one day rule.  I like it.  I don’t have a rule around that and I think that is so interesting.  It’s good to think about these things so we can set up our environment and create strategies for success. 

T:  We are the only ones that are going to help us.  At the end of the day, we make our own decisions.  We can only control us.  Why not give us some tools to get through life which is completed and challenging and happy and joyous but very hard. 

P:  Let’s talk more about that after the break.  It’s time for our final break. 

Welcome back we are talking with Tish Squallero.  This is the last segment of this week’s Take Charge of your Productivity. 

P:  We have had a fun discussion so far.  We have been looking at our own self talk and the seven areas of head trash.  We were just talking about productivity and how we could increase our productivity by dealing and understanding where having these areas of head trash.  You talked about some tips and tricks.  Do you have any you can share?

T:  Head trash?  Maybe it’s something you do have.  Headtrash911.com it’s a website that offers information not only about head trash but to take the index.  It shows videos on how to visualize the seven elements.  The book itself has a chapter for every one of the seven.  In each we have tips.  We have suggestions and we have things to work through for you.  Feedback has been great.  People have said its simple and you walk away with everyday tools.  Once you find your trash, you might want to see if you can pick up the book online or in a book store.  For here, I will pick the top two that I find that people as we have done the indexes for over 1700 people, fear and insecurity are the top.  Here is a tip for each.  So on fear, which is the concern we all have of being wrong, not knowing enough, afraid to do something that you are not even sure about yourself.  Those are forms of fear.  They are healthy because nobody should walk into a situation that they have covered.  It’s ok.  The one thing I do is always remind people about fear.  Something you see every day when you are actually going into a situation which is caution.  We try to give you a replacement emotion.  Let me show you where fear becomes head trash and you can replace it with something healthy.  Caution is one of those for fear.  When you see a caution sign about proceed with it doesn’t say stop, don’t move, do nothing.  That is a whole other sign.  But when you see a proceed with caution sign, it is recommending you should move forward.  You should move ahead.  We are suggesting you do it with caution.  I would say if you are heading into making a decision, and you are afraid, it’s ok.  Break it down into small doses to see what you are afraid about.  What are the major impacts if it doesn’t go well?  Address a couple so you are prepared.  Break it down.  There is always a way to figure out how to get from point a to point b but you have to be willing to look.

P:  One of the four areas of championship psychology is language and this is a great example of how language makes a difference.  Fear in itself, you tighten up.  The word makes you feel like a shot would.  Just feeling the body change the way that it feels when we talk about caution.  When we use these words inside our head, the voices in our head, when you start to guide it and give it that language and say let’s proceed with caution.  Just using the words themselves will change what our response is. 

T:  It’s that communication part.  After you clarify and you are ok, you still have to get it out there. The second is insecurity.  We say in the book it is one of the most challenging to manage because it’s not only the voice in your head, it’s a negative voice.  It’s constantly beating you up.  You are not good enough.  You don’t belong here.  Nobody likes you.  It doesn’t give you any confidence.  You have to overcome the voice with another voice to say, hold on here.  I think one of the ways in which we have found to help folks who have an insecurity is to get them to ask themselves what is it that you don’t think you can do?  What is it that you think they are really saying about you?  Why do you think you are not good?  The funny thing is most insecure people are very successful.  They have their life together in a dream like situation.  They have accomplished a lot.  You would think insecure people are held back.  They are not.  Their mental balance is off.  The imposter theory.  They are waiting for something to tap them on the shoulders and say, you don’t belong here, you need to leave, you don’t know what you are doing.  It’s that fear of questioning, what don’t I know?  As you start to rationalize that you can’t come up with a good answer, you might say, wait a second, am I just doing this to myself.  As a consultant, you are always selling your abilities to people that don’t know you.  There are moments that I say to myself, what can I do for this person.  But then I quickly remind myself that I am in a position that I have helped so many other people and I am objective, I can look at something unemotionally.  Find out what that thing is that you know you are good at. 

P:  What I do with people to help them get over that imposter theory, is to create an at a girl file.  Something you can look back at in a moment of decision or insecurity to combat that.  Look back at the great testimonials or comments that people have made for you.  Put that email that somebody sent thanking you for the impact you made, put that in a file somewhere.

T:  I have my own person who when I am feeling that way, when I call them, I know that if I talk with them, afterwards, they reminded me how stupid I was to think that way.  I call that person every time I feel that way. 

P:  What a great tip.  Another last thing that we do sometimes is to give an assignment in the beginning when I work with someone.  I have them make a list of 50 great characteristics about themselves and then list one reason why they put that.  That’s really an eye opener.  They eventually grow into that list.  I do it with my kids.  I have them give me five great things about them.  It’s fun. 

T:  Kids today are challenged in maintaining the lack of entitlement that is there.  The insecurities because I do see with my own kids they grow up a lot faster because they must.  My husband and I are not home all of the time. 

P:  You were talking about how it holds you back in decision making.  In leaders, it contaminates the team and the family when there is head trash.  It really is such an important element to get to really understand where your issues are and really be able to manage them because of the impact it is having on everyone else.  We leave a legacy every day.  We forget that.  Every day, how are we going to show up?  That is directly related to the head trash we carry around every day. 

T:  That is why people who are in leadership roles who didn’t start out with that as a goal.  But it evolved.  Transference where they transfer their style, beliefs, fears onto those they are managing.  It just does.  You don’t even know you are doing it.  Then you start to wonder that your teams are having the same thoughts that you are.  You are actually transferring them so it is important to think about your head trash professionally and personally.  Do you bring it home with you?

P:  One last question.  I noticed somewhere that I saw you talk about hyperactivity verses productivity.  We said before, everybody is busy.  Competitions on who is so busy.  So many distractions with cell phones and people being able to get ahold of you.  That struck me when I saw your statement about hyperactivity verses productivity. 

T:  People think that if they are working hard and a lot are working smart.  Working smart is a different approach to things.  And productivity is motion but let’s not make unnecessary motions just to be busy.  Busy people are not always effective.  But if there is no end result that is produced by their busy ness are they being productive.  I do think that our emotions are sometimes bringing us that hyperactivity of thinking we are doing this.  Emotions can flood how you think.  I also think people don’t set realistic boundaries for themselves.  We talked about this earlier.  What is success?  Are you looking at it for who you are and what you want or are you comparing yourself of those around you.  If you compare yourself, that is a much harder goal to maintain and you probably won’t get it.  If you don’t achieve that goal, does that mean you are not good enough?  Are you hyper activating yourself to a goal set that you will never meet?  It’s like being on a treadmill where you don’t arrive anywhere new.  Then I think all of those emotions are hit where you start to feel not good enough.  Those things come out because you are not getting the mini wins and progress that you should but you have been busy doing stuff. 

P:  I believe that my book coming out called Compared to What?  Is exactly about that.  There is a positive competition and negative competition.  Our culture is very much about competition and where it destroys an organization.  Where we pin employees against each other.  Unless its collaborative competition and you perform as your best as a team.  You set a baseline and say this is where we are performing at today.  Our goal is to get more productive and get to point 2 as a team.  For us personally, its the same thing.  We really want to be able to set that baseline for ourselves and where we really get traction and progress is where we see ourselves move to the next level.  I do believe it’s good to have role models for us to look up to.  Compare yourself to yourself. 

T:  Competition is about getting what you need to get done.  It’s more about compromising.  I remember working with an entire sales team.  Parts of the group say it’s about getting the deal done.  Part of the group is focused on the win.  Sometimes people measure themselves by having a lot of money.  If you are rich and you have a lot of money are you filled in the other aspects of your life?  I don’t have a lot of money I can’t judge.  But I know a lot of folks who do have money and they still are questionable.  Their style is always win, win, win.  Where is the pause to joy?  What did we give up to get that?  When folks are looking to address head trash and they are setting their goals and figure out what is stopping them.  Make sure where you are going is also healthy. 

P:  Thank you so much for being here today.  This was a great show.  Go get Head Trash the book.  Tish is going to give us that url that you can go get the book and also take the index so you can start thinking about how you can eliminate, reduce or manage your head trash so you can get more productive. 

T:  www.headtrash911.com  Thank you Penny.  This has been a great discussion.


Pin It on Pinterest