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Interview Howard Berg | Speed Reading: Read and Comprehend

This is Penny Zenker.  Today I am joined by Howard Berg.  America’s fastest reader.  He attended State University of New York at Binghamton.  He majored in both biology and psychology.  He taught science and computers for ten years in New York City.  He went to start his own company dedicated to learning and success for all.  He has created more than 14 brain based learning program.  His Time Warner Books Super Reading Secrets.  It’s in its 28th reprint.  Congratulations.  Barons Books requested him to write Speed Reading, the Easy Way.  At Nightingale Conant they sold over 650,000 copies of his mega speed reading program.  I want to welcome the man of speed.  Howard Berg. 

P:  Thanks for being here.

H:  Thanks for having me. 

P:  I know you finished your college courses in a record amount of time and your products help others to do the same.  Did you have some kind of speed reading AHA moment in college or were you speed reading and practicing brain based learning or accelerated learning before then?

Speed readingH: I started when I was younger.  I grew up in the projects in Brooklyn.  It was like the West Side Story.  I had a lot of knives pulled on me.  The safest place in my neighborhood was the library.  Kids from gangs don’t hang out at libraries or book store.  All I could do that was safe, was read.  When I went to college, I started studying the brain and brain based learning.  I was up to 80 pages per minute.  That is Mega Reading maximimim speed reading, reading rate. I did a graduate course in psychology in 7 hours.  I took a test in 15 minutes and got a B+.  I wondered if this accelerated learning was trainable.  I had a young man pass the bar at 19 in California.  Micha Stanley was able to graduate U of Texas at 16 with a 4.0.  Learn Chinese in 3 weeks became my mission.  I teach how people can apply this accelerated learning to their businesses and be more productive and have more time for things you love.  Have less stress.

P:  Yes, it is a challenge that our listeners are sitting at the edge of their seats.  Did you work with these people personally or was this through your program that they were able to learn?  Do you have to be a genius to learn this?

H:  Good example is a C student when he started.  He graduated with his 4 year degree at 19.  His masters in English at 21.  At age 22 he is an English Professor.  It teaches people something that we were never taught.  Brain based learning.  How does your brain work?  Why can you turn on the radio and listen to a song and learn it and sing it for the rest of your life, effortlessly?  I cracked the code on learning and that’s sort of what we will be doing today.  I will talk about some of these strategies people can use immediately. Mega reading is a thing everyone can do at a high reading rate with maximum speed.

P:  What inspired you to bring this to the world?  You could have kept it for yourself and just continue to grow your own business and yourself?

H:  I spent 10 years teaching in the inner city in New York.  I told the principal that I could help the students.  He said, what I was going to teach is not in the curriculum.  I realized that someone needed to do something.  People are unable to stay on top of data.  Right now it’s doubled.  Every six months, information doubles.  Nobody has figured out a way to stay on top of that.  It’s important for people to do that and be successful.  I figured since I knew what I was doing and it worked and it was something I could teach, I had that responsibility.  I was given a gift and wanted to share accelerated learning to make a better world.

P:  Terrific.  I hope that everyone who is listening here taps into their gift.  It’s almost an obligation isn’t it Howard?

H:  Yes, I just help develop what you already have.  We all have something special.  People that I have helped, live better and see more possibility.  You have more dots you can connect.  More ways to approach a problem and you find more solutions.  Too many problems.  We need more problem solvers and less problems.  I feel like that is something I can help bring about with brain based learning.

P:  You are right.  As you help more people throughout the world, is this something that can eventually break into the curriculum and be a standard part in the way we learn? This could be a  mega reading class where accelerated learning allows us to read and comprehend atmaximumm speed?

H:  Probably not in the United States, but maybe other countries.  Our system is really, um, we are still fixing it.  Here is a statistic.  50% of college students dropped out.  70% of two year college students dropped out.  The average person take 6 years to finish college.  90% of high school graduates can’t write a paragraph.  20% of high school graduates can’t read at the 8th grade level.  38% of high school can’t do sixth grade math.  They just had a story on CNN.  80% of graduates in New York City, which is not the worst, or best, went to city college needed remedial training in Reading, Writing, and Math, before they could start college courses.  This country is in crisis.  They don’t want to change.  They say they do, but I live in the city where I volunteer for 10 years to help for free just to be a good citizen.  It says a lot about the system.  I read a book, if people were put to sleep in 1950 and woke up today one of the only things that stayed the same is school.  It hasn’t changed.  We are teaching kids how to be farmers.  How to be industrial.  Help their parents with the crops over the summer.  That is the purpose of summer. 

P:  People listening are here because they want change and want to increase their productivity.  We can take responsibilities for ourselves and our families.  There is a ripple effect that can take place here.  I am so grateful that you are here and we can really go over this information.  With the information age of the internet, entrepreneurs and every individual is overloaded with information today.

H:  The most common speed of reading is 200 words per minute.  With information doubling, that is just not fast enough.  Most people today are missing important information.  They are not able to read and comprehend the amount of information available and as a result are making expensive mistakes. 

P:  Yes.  I don’t think any of us can afford expensive mistakes.  We want to learn from the best.  We want to progress efficiently and effectively.  I resonate with your message because the more we learn, the better we can manage our energy investment.  We also need time to relax and do other things.  By learning faster with this accelerated learning method, that will enable us to do that. 

I ask every guest this question.  I am interested in your definition.  How do you define productivity and why?

H:  For me it is the ability to get things done quicker and better and more efficiently.  Not have the aggravation of stress.  A good example is I needed to get credits to get my teaching license.  I didn’t have time to go to school. I did a five month course in 7 hours by reading a book 4 times in 7 hours.  I took the sixth hour to take the test in 15 minutes. Mega reading in maximum speed. I got 4 graduate credits for 7 hours with a B+ for $65.  I saved so much money in driving, parking, and just time per week.  That is productivity. 

P:  That is productivity.  That is a wonderful example. 

H:  Getting things done and getting it done right and not wasting a lot of time getting the results that you need.

P:  I talk about focus in my program.  What they are doing with their time.  How much of themselves do they bring to that time and how do they feel about what they accomplished in that time.  How they manage their energy.  What is your take on that concept?

H:  That is so important.  Emotional intelligence.  It is the single most important skill.  Here is an example.  A lot of people ask, why am I a loser?  Your brain will tell you why you are a loser.  A lot of people in their learning will say, why am I so stupid?  Why do I have to learn this?  Instead, they should ask, how can I learn this faster and better.  We set ourselves up for failure.  While we are performing our activities throughout our day, if we ask a positive question, how can I get this client to agree to my contract quicker?  I can I learn this new skill better and faster?  Instead of why and how am I going to learn this?  These negative comments set up a program of failure.  Success doesn’t just come only from positive thinking.  If that was the case, everyone in Vegas would go home rich.  You have to have a good plan.  But if you have a negative attitude and the wrong question and not focused on the right one, no matter how hard you work, you will only get the answers you are looking for.  So many people spend their time trying to accomplish something they don’t even need. 

P:  I love that you bring in the quality of questions in terms of learning.  I never thought of it like that.  You are actually turning off your ability to learn by the questions you ask yourself while you are learning.  We talk about language.  That is so key.  I love how the quality of questions go through every aspect of our lives. That makes sense because the questions direct the enegy and focus around our brain based learning.

H:  So many students fail, because they say Math is too hard.  Science is boring.  So is it a shock that that child can’t learn science and math?  I am curious about how things work and I love numbers.  A lot of problems that people have are self-created.  Their attitudes and questions are creating them.  I can actually change someone’s emotional state. 

P:  they would love that.

H:  One of the states that people need is energy.  Have you ever been in a long meeting, or take a long exam, maybe your commute home?  To combat this, stand up and touch your left arm to right shoulder.  Then your right arm to left shoulder.  It’s like the Macarena but without music.  Now bring your right elbow to your left knee.  And do the same on the other side. Both sides of your brain are becoming active.  Make a fist in your right hand and hold it over your head and say:  I feel great.  Pull it down and go YES!!  With passion.  Do three sets of these.  This will create energy when you need it. Counts of 8.   Speed it up on your second set.  Third set even faster.  Put a smile on your face, sit down and feel great.  When you do this three times Penny, you know what happens.  Nothing?  But do it three times and do it every day three times for a month.  Then when you are in a long boring meeting, or sitting in traffic, or you are in a exam, you need a burst of energy.  Do you remember Pavlov’s dog?  You will drill your mind into creating energy.  You are making your own bell like Pavlov’s dog.  Your brain remembers what it felt and then you get a boost of energy just when you need it.  The same way to learn this you can learn to focus, relax, be creative, and then you can turn this state on when you need it.  I talk about all of this in my program. 

P:  That’s great.  And my program has that in it too.  That is key in every aspect.  What you are doing is the same as a song that takes you back to a particular place in time.  We have these anchors that we create for ourselves all of the time.  I would like our listeners to know that you have negative ones there and there are ways to remove those as well.  It’s a balance of creating these positive anchors for ourselves.  That is great.  Thanks for sharing that.  Everyone is leaving here with a huge value with them able to take away and boost their energy at any time. 

H:  Here is an example.  You learn how to drive.  Then you get your license.  You slide in the car and the instructor is right next to you and suddenly you can’t remember your name because you are taking a test.  You went brain dead.  That is an example of an emotional state sabotaging all of your hard work.  Every day that happens to kids.  They study hard for a test, they know the information, the test starts, and they get so nervous, they can’t even remember their name.  It’s critical to learn how to manage your state.  Critical.

P:  It’s not as much about time as it is about energy.  You hit the nail on the head.  It’s about how you manage that emotional state or energy.  I have coined a phrase called Championship Psychology.  That is what we are creating. 

H:  That’s right.  Those are great words. 

P:  That is the productivity x factor.  It sounds like you believe that as well.  Do you think there is another x factor in there?

H:  I think productivity is a lot like accelerated learning.  It’s not one single thing.  A lot of people think reading is learning.  It’s not.  You can read a book and the next day fail a test even though you read the book.  You didn’t understand it or didn’t remember it.  They need to read and comprehend. How do I learn and understand something I don’t understand.  Brain based learning requires three blades:  Read, understand, remember.  Whether its learning or productivity we are talking about a complex thing not just one thing by itself.  Taken together with the right proportions you get an amazing outcome.  That is why my program is different.  Most speed reading programs focus on maximum speed and reading.  I focus on accelerated learning.  The problem is people read too fast and don’t learn anything. that isnt mega redaing. Learn smarter in less time – that is mega redaing.  I teach how to make sense out of what you are reading.  If you like I can show you some of the tricks I teach. 

P:  yes, I just want to make sure I understand.  I am sure there are some skeptics.  They might be thinking, ok I can read fast at that reading rate but am i going to comprehend what I have read.  Are you saying that you have cracked the code in that you are able to not only help people to improve their reading rate to read faster but also to retain and access that information faster?  Is that what you are saying? Read and Comprehend, right?

H:  it is how the brain makes sense of the words.  You are understanding better because we understand what the brain is looking for to make some sense.  This program works.  I see this over and over again, these young people taking college level tests and doing well.  There are so many ways to improve comprehension.

P:  If it works with an eleven year old, it can work for you.

H: FromHoward.com\radio for more information.

P:  We will go to that at the end with that. 

H:  Would you like something else about comprehension?  One of the things people often ask me is this is too much to learn.  The book is too big.  I don’t even know what to look for.  All you have to look for is five things.  New words, the names, numbers and statistics, 5 points in each section.  We took a group of 18 children ages 11 to 16.  We gave them a 30 chapter book at a college level.  In one week they finished the book with speed reading.  15 out of the 18 students took the test and 15 of the students passed the course with full credit in one week because they knew all of the words, names and numbers, and the five most important ideas.  They had the answers to every question.  If you learn just those five things you will master any subject in a fraction of the time. 

P:  yes, because that is what you are being tested for, right?  I just want to ask a question.  What about comprehension?  Really being able to understand the material.  Like when you are getting a medical degree.  When you really need to apply something and not just answer the question.

H:  When I did that graduate course in 7hours I knew it was going to be multiple choice.  Which meant I didn’t have to know the answer, just recognize it.  I knew it was given to the whole state.  They couldn’t make it too hard because no one would pass.  Too hard and all would fail.  I spend time in the glossary because that is where words are to identify.  When you learn a system for analyzing tests and analyzing business experiences, you begin to know exactly the questions to expect from a client or an instructor.  So you are prepared.  The secret to school is one thing.  The answers to the questions.  Most people are studying all of the information and none of it’s on the test. 

P:  They need to learn what is relevant. 

H:  It’s a game.  But the reality is all you really need to know is the answer to the questions.  If you are trying to learn something and the questions are not focusing on what you need to know, you may do poorly on the test part.  My strategy teaches you what to look for even before you sit down and read. 

P:  It’s time for us to take a break.  We will be back.  We will talk about proactive training.

Welcome back. I am Penny Zenker and I am joined with Howard Berg, the world’s fastest reader.

P:  We just had two segments of great value that you provided to our listeners.  Not only did we learn how to boost our energy and our state in the moment through some exercises, but we also looked at how to anticipate and understand the schema, the key into speed reading and being able to read faster and read and gather what is really important in order for us to be able to take tests and be able to utilize this information.  I want to talk about like myself, there are many books on my shelf that are just sitting there.  There are people who think I just don’t have the time to take this method of learning.  How long does it take to learn your program?

H:  It only takes 2 and half hours to read 100% faster.  The other 90 minutes are on the comprehension and tension.  And the emotional state. 

P:  That is incredible.  This is an audio program?

H:  Actually its 3 DVD’s.  One of them is a practice DVD to help people get quicker.  They don’t have to.  I would like to think that if you double the four hours and practiced more you could triple your results.  If you want just the quick fix, then it only takes a few hours.  That’s fine because everybody is different and so are their needs.  I try to make sure I cover everybody’s needs properly.

P:  In four hours, people are going to be able to double their reading speed.  That will give them more time to spend with family, focus on sales, or to apply the skills that they have just learned through reading.

H:  I let people contact me.  They can text me on my phone.  If they need my help, I try to make sure that everyone who takes the program will learn.  I am still part teacher.  I may have left the schools, but I still like to teach people. 

P:  Do you have a place where people share their results?

H:  We did a third party investigation company.  We used a standardized test for reading speed and comprehension.  They took 100 people at random and gave them just the program.  I was not in the room or even the city it was in.  The average person doubled or quadrupled with no problems. 

P:  ok. 

H:  We know for sure it works.  Different age groups, backgrounds, experiences, etc.  This study proves what you can do what you are claiming.  Most programs don’t do this study to validate the quality.

P:  Sounds like you have many people who have excelled and you are able to show that the system really works. 

H:  It makes me feel good.  Me doing it is fun, its entertaining, other people doing it, can change the world?  That excites me.

P:  That’s great.  You mentioned that student who freezes for a moment, do you have any tips for you to give our listeners about memory and accessing that information that you are looking to bring up at a particular time?  Whether it’s a test or speech or whatever.

H:  Yes.  First thing is wording is state dependent.  A memory strategy is the second part.  I will give you ten things to remember.  I will show you how.  Poles, shoes, tricycle, car, glove, gun, dice, skate, cat and bowling pin.  Most people might know how to say them backwards and forwards.  I will show you the secret.  If you take something you know already like the numbers 1-10, link them to something you need to know, it takes a fraction of time to learn.  This is called Pegging.  Figure number one:  a big tall one that looks like a pole.  Two, how many shoes are you wearing.  Three, is a tricycle it has three wheels.  Four is the car and it has four tires.  Five is glove it has five fingers in the glove.  What is five? Six is gun.  They love them in Texas.  Seven is lucky in dice.  Seven is dice.  What is seven?  Say Eight Skate.  What is eight?  That is a rhyme.  Rhyme is powerful.  Nine:  How many lives does a cat have?  Nine is what?  Last one is ten bowling pins in a lane.  Ten bowling pins.  What is ten?  Let’s put the numbers together 1..2..3..4…5…6…7…8..9..10.  Name the ten items.  The whole system is just like this. 

P:  That is great.  It’s a system that helps you to access things by connecting them to other things that are easier to remember.

H:  Its supersonic speed reading.  It teaches you how to read faster and understand what you are reading.  It shows you how to find things that are important and how to remember them.  Now you have a complete system for learning instead of just the reading program.  FromHoward.com\radio and they can try it risk free for thirty days.  We guarantee that we double your reading speed.  If you need help, call me.  My phone is not ringing.  I have been giving out my number for 30 years.  I have taught so many people, what does that tell you? They have paid me to help them.  Someone has trusted me, I make sure it gets done. 

P:  That is fantastic and thank you.  You can try Howard’s program it is a money back guarantee. 

H:  You won’t need to return it because it works.  But if something happens, you can send it back.  But they just don’t.   It’s so easy to learn.  It is exactly what they expect.  If you give people what they expect plus a little more, they are really happy and want to keep it. 

P:  Knowing you and the value you have created with this program as well as hearing you speak at other forums, the value will be more than people expect.  It will be over the top and I encourage everyone to go to FromHoward.com\radio to check it out.  Before we end, I want to ask you what are you working on?  You have gone through so many books and skills and different things, what is next for you? 

H:  I do products for memory.  How to make products.  How to get on shows.  26 advance speed reading lessons.  I do a program every month on a business problem.  Like how to make a website or Photoshop or create a membership press.  I teach people how to do things that would traditionally would take months, I teach in an hour.  My services help people in business who are trying to be productive.  I cut the time to learn it.  I do this every month. 

P:  Thank you so much for being here.  It’s been a world of information, but we have learned a lot of practical things that we are able to take away with us and apply immediately.  Thanks for sharing that.

H:  Thank you again.   You will be really excited with the results you get.

P:  Just to close out, in my program I talk about the type of energy that you bring to a project or task.  It’s not about the amount of time you spend on something, it’s about what you bring to it.  Howard says that as well.  Its state dependent.  You need to be in a certain state to learn and you need to be in a certain state in the way you do everything in your life.  It also helps to have strategies like speed reading to proactively reduce the time it takes to do certain things.  Find, harness, and use your best and smartest energy.  In order to do this, you need to prepare and anticipate.  Howard talked about anticipate the questions before they come.  You want to anticipate your environmental changes or obstacle that may obstruct you in getting to where you want to go.  Prepare your knowledge and expertise by learning and getting the skills you need.  Find the fastest way to learn.  Train yourself and your staff to be exceptionally and exponentially more productive.  What obstacles await you in your future?  Write them down what you need to learn to create and maintain a competitive advantage in your field.  I have heard it said, if you are not growing, you are dying.  Start writing those things down and anticipate what you need to do in order to grow your life and your business.  If you like what you have heard, send us a message on Facebook, twitter or text.  Let us know what you think.  www.facebook.com\pennyzperspective and also at twitter www.twitter.com\pennyzenker  questions can be posted on the site and we will answer them over the program or via email.  Join us next week as we talk about another of the most important elements of the ten elements of time and energy management and how to make yourself more productive.  We talk about quantum productivity.  Until next time, this is Penny Zenker reminding you to take charge of your time and energy.  It is a choice you can feel good about.

Interview Suzanne Yvette Seg 3 | Overcoming Mediocrity

Welcome Back to the last segment.  I am joined with Suzanne Yvette author, speaker and philanthropist.  Suzanne’s new book is coming out next February.  She is the co-author of Overcoming Mediocrity stories from courageous women.  The title of her chapter is called Accidental Courage.  Welcome back.

S:  Thank you Penny.

P:  Tell us about this book and the chapter that you have written.

Overcoming MediocrityS:  It’s a group of women that have written two books.  The first was about stories of women who have created lives of significance.  I met the publisher of this book and I actually know one of the authors in it.  I couldn’t wait to get my story out.  I had to get into the next book.  With some help I wrote my story.  I talk about the different aspects that I mentioned earlier.  Joining the military.  There are a couple things I talked about.  One was about being adopted.  Nobody loves you or I was given up.  I found out that I really was loved.  When I started to write my story, the theme I found was that I was accidentally courageous.  It was an eye opening expression.  I think all of us have accidental courage in us.  What do we actually write down?  What do we acknowledge? 

P:  That courage coming from our passion.  That passion might just to be to live.  Passion in all areas.  Its great when its accidental and even better when its conscious.  Creating that courage where and when we need to.  So, tell us where can listeners find out more about you and your current projects, how to get a copy of your book, where do they need to go?

S:  Suzanneyvette.com and that will give you an area in there to shop.  You will find my books there.  You can also contact me at Suzannegirlonfireworldwide.com and I would be happy to talk with you about any issues you might have.  How we can work together to support women’s empowerment. 

P:  This program you have is an amazing support for women. The challenges that women face.  I love again, the three areas:  the heart of a fighter, soul of a woman and body of a survivor.  It brings the woman to her challenges and she fights through them from survivor to thriver.  So, thank you so much for being on this show.  It was a great discussion to make people aware of the components of championship psychology and how it can really support us through the most challenging times.  I am so moved by your mission and how many people will be inspired to support or be supported as a result.  I just wish you all of the best and uh, I think also one last note is that I talk about the rubber band effect and these women you are helping have gone through some incredible and monumental challenges.  I believe in the rubber band effect, the greater the challenge, the greater the spring board to growth and fulfillment.  When you have the right resources to support you, you get that rubber band effect you can grow with leaps and bounds.  I know you have that in your heart and will help those women in a tremendous way.  Thank you so much for being here.

S:  It was a pleasure and I always enjoy speaking with you.  I would be happy to do it again.

P:  Thank you.  If you like what you heard today send us a message www.facebook.com/pennyzperscpective  on Twitter www.twitter.com/pennyzenker.  Any questions just post them to one of these sights.  Join us next week as we continue to provide you with amazing experts to help create Quantum Productivity.  This is Penny Zenker reminding you to take charge of your time and energy.  It is a choice you can feel good about.

Interview Suzanne Yvette Seg 2 | Focus

Welcome Back.  I am Coach Penny Zenker and we are speaking with Suzanne Yvette about the x factor in achieving greater productivity. The next question I am going to ask you is one I ask every guest because I love the variety of answers.  How do you define productivity and why?

S:  By focus plus energy equals productivity.  Focus is the first element.  I have a method where at night I make my busy lists.  I do ten things before ten.  Once that ten is done, checking email, following up with the bank, writing a check, calling the dog groomer to come out.  I get that done in a certain time frame.  So then I can grow on what makes me grow.  Focus on something that is purposely driven.  If I give that all my focus, then the energy comes.  That energy keeps me staying present to accomplish the task.  Focus plus energy equals productivity. 

P:  Energy is uh, what I say is how we really create that productivity.  Not just what we do with our time.  It’s also how we show up.  That energy factor and how we feel about what we accomplish.  I love, love love what you said.  Focus is again, it’s one of those areas of championship psychology which make up that energy factor.  We are in alignment, but I am not surprised.  Are focus and energy the main factors for you in productivity?  Any other ones?

S:  I have to tell myself that I have to remind my clients that doing busy work is inevitable.  You will never get away from it.  Embrace the busy and get it out of your way.  Then focus on what is going to support your bottom line.  Where are you going to get the most credibility out of your day?  I guess, embrace the busy. 

P:  I like that.  I like your ten before ten and the concept of getting those busy things out of the way.  Give it a time frame so you can really focus the rest of your day on the things that are most important to drive you forward.  Great tip.  Do you think there is an x factor?  Is there one thing that what would make that shift that makes all of the difference, what is that thing?

S:  My biggest shift since starting my company is procrastination.  I had to define what that was to me.  It was lack of focus.  I could get distracted by anything.  I could go out and walk in the yard and be distracted.  Focus to me was the x factor.  What I had to do to get over that procrastination. 

P:  What do you think is underlying that?  Is there something else?  You got focus and what do you get focused on?

Camera lens and focusS:  I got focused because the energy follows.  If you are so focused and ready for the outcome, you have visualized it, focus is the easiest thing to do.  If you are not seeing where you are supposed to be, you are not going to follow, you will procrastinate.  But when you are visualizing where you are at, you do everything you can that whole day or evening, to get to that place.  It becomes unstoppable.  It flows like a well-greased machine. 

P:  My interpretation is that underneath that, in order to focus you need to have clarity.  When you have clarity of that purpose, it enables you to get focused.

S:  Yes.

P:  Also, when you get that clarity, it opens up the ability to get a plan.  When you have clarity and then you can create a plan to break things down.  Procrastination to me, is a lack of focus.  That could come from a lack of clarity and also a little bit of fear.  When you have clarity of purpose, do you have fear?

S:  Some people have fear of success. 

P:  More people more than you think.  They actually have fear of success or fear of success at the next level.  Not where they are right now, but they have a norm. 

S:  Focus helps me get over that fear.  I see that cliff all of the time.  Just that little push past the cliff gives me the energy to continue on.

P:  When we tap into our passion, it taps into our courage.  Just linking that point to this.

S:  It also give my breast cancer survivors and thrivers seeing themselves healthy.  The vision of where we are going to be.  Getting them to not focus on the sickness but to look to the healthy.

P:  I help people to break through obstacles like fear, limiting beliefs, etc.  When we break through these obstacles we make great shifts in productivity.  Sometimes it’s not about adding, but taking away, resistance.  A great mentor of mine, he told me and made me appreciate that his job wasn’t to motivate me, it was to remove the obstacles so I can tap into my natural motivation that I had and I can flourish.  Do you agree with that philosophy?  Maybe you can share your concept.

S:  One of the things that I have found that I run 3 businesses right now.  I have to focus on my tasks.  What my clients can do to get themselves up to speed.  I set specific times with them to work on their focus.  What are their obstacles?  We have to get out of own way.  It’s ok to ask for help.  One of the things I do specifically is work with them on how they can be strong and supportive to their family and yet still be vulnerable and ask for help.  The same for the veterans.  They have been strong for so long, it’s ok to say, I can do this differently and or better.  I think it’s critical in anyone’s life. 

P:  She comes home from a day of chemo and is exhausted and has to make dinner or take care of the household.  It’s a part of what she does to support her family and part of who she is, right?  It made me think of an experience I had with my son last night.  He is deciding that he doesn’t want to play the saxophone anymore.  I was surprised when I said would you like to quit?  I shouldn’t have used that word.  I should have said stop.  He started to break out into tears.  I said what is the matter?  If it’s not right for you, then you can try another instrument.  I would rather you focus your energy and efforts on something you enjoy.  His answer was in karate, we have one of the mottos, winners never quit, and quitters never win.  He said that to me.  I said, oh my, uh, and I helped him to appreciate that in this context, it wasn’t quitting because he gave it a half a year to work with it, it was prioritizing on what was most important and most needed in his life.  The reason I am bringing up that example is because that was a limiting belief that he had, right?  That he needed to see it from a different perspective to let it go.  It’s a similar type of thing of having limiting beliefs about what we need to do in certain situations.  In those circumstances, they need to remove those obstacle that are holding them back. 

S:  Not only the obstacles and being vulnerable, but giving ourselves permission.  As women we multitask and have all of these responsibilities because we are women.  I really work with these girls with being ok with saying, I give you permission to be sick today because you just had chemo.  Save that energy.  Store that up and let’s tackle it tomorrow. 

P:  Well said.  We try to manage something that is out of our control.  It creates stress and frustration.  We need to be more focused on what we can control and that is going to help us make all of the difference in how we manage our energy.  Earlier I talked about the energy aspect in championship psychology and energy management.  Those two are the same thing.  I would like to introduce those four areas and get your opinion.  Is that ok?  Each of these areas represent a way to increase the positive energy that drives us.  It’s also the difference that makes a difference between what you talked about in surviving and really thriving.  Purpose- we already talked about that in that it is a driving force of our energy.  It’s that raw fuel.  From there we can direct it in a lot of different directions.  Do you have anything further to say? 

S:  I think that one of the things most important for me when I get up is to remember my purpose.  To say my purpose:  I am a leader.  I am strong.  And refocus that right back into my heart and soul.  My purpose has to be every morning and every evening.  It flows in between. 

P:  A daily practice of connecting to your purpose.  Secondly, is focus.  You heavily appreciate the value of focus and shifting focus.  Culturally, we were once focused on innovation and what we want to more procrastinators and what we don’t want.  How do you use shifting focus as a tool for yourself and with the women you are working with?

S:  Our country has gone into that procrastination state, I agree with you.  I would say it took me a month to 60 days to brush off the dust and toxins of corporate America because it was so predictable.  Then I had to deal with the unpredictable.  That was me and getting out of the way.  I had to focus on getting the job done.  I look back on that and it taught me a lot about who I am.  The more I learned about my abilities as an entrepreneur and a philanthropist, it fueled more for me to continue on that.

P:  Focus is paramount.  When we focus on what we want, we will get more of that.  When we focus on what we don’t want, we will get more of that.  It’s that simple.   

S:  One of the things they teach you in the military is to focus on the mission.  It teaches you strategic planning. 

P:  Let’s talk about language.  The power of language.  Because it is the words that we use consciously and unconsciously that form the questions that we ask ourselves and others.  It comes out in our language.  We hear ourselves say something and it’s a realization of what’s going on inside.  It’s very powerful.  How do you use language as a critical success factor with the women you work with?

S:  When the women go through breast cancer there are body and mental images.  It’s all a process.  Sometimes we can get ourselves wrapped around our internal thoughts.  I am not pretty.  I can’t go anywhere without my wig.  I don’t have eyelashes.  What I do is turn around the thinking in saying yeah, you can go anywhere bald because you are beautiful.  We give ourselves permission to be healthy and productive.  Using the right language gives us the strength to move forward.  Walking into the chemo room, walking onto the battlefield for the vets, we use our internal language to say we can get through this.  Focusing on the positive will give you the courage to move forward.

P:  It shows you how these 4 areas are intertwined.  There is that dreaded self-talk that brings us to negative focus.  Or it’s the positive self-talk that gives us strength to move forward.  The reason I break them into specifics because the more we can break it down, it’s like planning, right?   If we have this big goal, it may seem too big to address or approach it.  If we don’t know the individual elements, we can’t create it for ourselves or break it down to find out what we need to work on.  Let’s talk about labels.  They are a dangerous part of our language and the emotions we create attached to these labels that either we give ourselves or others give us.  Can you add to that?

S:  I learned in the military that the label of being a woman was just not acceptable.  I had to fight through that stereotype.  I could be a jet mechanic no matter if I was a man or a woman.  It was a good four years before I started being accepted.  Then the next label was being a widow.  I wore that one well.  I was told by the military that I would be taken care of as a military widow for the rest of my life, which is true.  I started using that as my identity.  I was still a very vibrant woman at 26.  But I wore the widow thing too well.  I should have been more gregarious about my life.  My daughter can’t believe I never got remarried.  Then being a breast cancer survivor.  I wore that well.  I had to get past survivor and I didn’t know how.  It’s been 11 years now and it’s been a journey to stop using the label of survivor.  I think we can get the word thriver as a much more positive word.  My thoughts are to look back on the past and think to the future, labels can be beneficial for a time period.  Once they are no longer beneficial, and you have gotten through that emotion, it’s time to move forward and create a new label or word.  Create a new future.

P:  It’s amazing again, the intertwining of the self-talk and focus around labels.  How we own them and whether they are positive or negative.  When we take it into our identity it is then intertwined into our purpose.  It’s either driving that windmill in a positive direction creating more potential for ourselves or going the opposite way.  The labels no longer serve us or apply and we are not able to let it go.  That is so key.  I never thought even the label of a woman, that simple label of woman, or man, a never thought of that.  The limitations that it may hold.  Also, the labels we use around us.  Especially for our children.  What are we using around them?  Food for thought for our listeners.  The fourth area is physiology.  We know that to be mentally fit, we need to take care of our mind and body.  Dr. Dunkin and I talk about this as the number one factor that affects a threshold for our triggers.  We have a program and a method around trigger management.  Being able to really manage our emotional triggers.  When we don’t get enough sleep, we are less patient.  We have less mental stamina to deal with challenging triggers that may come up.  With the women you work with, there must be a number of emotional triggers that they have around them.  How do you see physiology supporting them in their process to thrive?

S:  The diet is the first thing we talk about.  Where are you in your own passion for recovery?   The doctors tell you to have certain medicines.  What are you doing to fuel your body with so that you can make that next transition?  You have 7 days or 2 weeks until the next one.  What do you do to give yourself that strength?  We focus on the mind, body and food.  I rode horses for a while.  After my first mastectomy I was really scared that I couldn’t lift my saddle onto my horse.  I had to start lifting light weights.  I had to recondition my body to overcome the medically issues that I had.  The girls in the ranch always offered to throw my saddle and I would say no.  It sure was a win once I was able to do that for myself.  We talk about how we feel about our bodies.  Does he still love me?  It’s not about anyone else, it’s about you.  Do you love yourself?  What is your passion?  Your success after this?  Do you want to help other people?  Become a supporter?  For the women vets, who are we going to help next?  It’s always about contribution.

P:  What a great summary there.  To sum up what championship psychology is.  Those four areas again are purpose, focus, language, and physiology.  It’s time for our last break.  Stay tuned.

Interview Suzanne Yvette Seg 1 | Purpose

Hi it’s Penny Zenker.  Your host of Take Charge of your Productivity.  On this show we explore your greatest potential. This week we are going to focus on Championship Psychology.  It is one of the three blades of the productivity windmill.  The other two are winning strategies and sustainable results.  No matter what we are doing in our personal and professional lives, the keys to success is focusing on psychology first.  A championship psychology forms the foundation for success.  Without it, you might get results in the short term, but ultimately it’s like swimming upstream.  To really get your productivity windmill turning and creating energy you need to point your force and your fuel in the right direction.  That means creating and maintaining a championship psychology for yourself and for your organization.  Now the real key to maintaining a championship psychology is being able to do this when it isn’t easy.  Right?  Such as when you lose your job or you declare bankruptcy, or got in an accident, or a divorce.  Maybe your company is showing record losses or your best customer just left.  It could be any of these challenging situations.

In order to best maintain a championship psychology and quickly manage your energy, you need to know the components and how you use them to your advantage.  You also need to have condition and new rituals, not habits.  Rituals that support you and your automatic positive response.

Today, I am joined by Suzanne Yvette who works closely with women veterans and breast cancer survivors.  Both groups of women face monumental challenges and she uses her message to help them not just overcome their challenges but to come out on the other side, even stronger.  Suzanne will share with us how she uses the critical elements of championship psychology and take people from surviving to thriving.  She is an author, speaker, coach and philanthropist.  She is not a stranger to those challenges herself.  Her story is about finding courage and strength from within even when the environment within you is falling apart.  While in the Us Navy, being widowed at age 26, while being 5 months pregnant she survived breast cancer.  Even in the toughest of times, you can overcome anything.  Why just survive when you can thrive?  On our program today you will learn four key components that make up championship psychology and understand the power of purpose and the energy that propels us.  You will understand the difference between surviving and thriving.  Suzanne you and I studied together.  I am so excited, and we immediately connected.  I am glad you are here to share your story and talk to our listeners.

S:  Thank you Penny it’s great to be here, what an opportunity. 

P:  I know you have been through a number of challenges in your life.  You could you share some of that?

Military woman with a purposeS:  When I first joined the navy at 18 in the 70’s, it was for a reason.  I look back on that and I think all I wanted to do was work on airplanes.  I grew up in an aviation family.  My father took me flying at a young age.  I became instantly fixed on how to get in the air and fly.  I wanted to do something exciting and see the world.  I knew there had to be more to the world than just California.  My father was in the Navy for a short while.  I decided that I would join the military and become involved with naval aviation.  Not many women were doing that.  I had to have this strong inner courage to face whatever came my way.  The guys didn’t want me in the squadron.  There were no schools for women at that time.  As the challenges came at me, I kept remembering that the bottom line is I wanted to fly.  I overcame the challenges as a young age and didn’t even think about it.  So, moving forward in the military career it was difficult but it was obtainable.  I got married in 1985 and my husband and I were both in the same squadron.  We were married in February and pregnant in August.  He passed away in December in a car accident.  I was 5 and half months pregnant and widowed.  I knew I had to raise my daughter.  I decided to get out of the Navy and stay and become a full time mother.  I had to make money.  I was introduced to sales at a very interesting seminar.  I met a gentlemen who wanted me to work for him.  I had no experience in sales but he saw something I didn’t see.  My reasons for getting into something again for being so off of the wall was to make money to raise my daughter.  That was great.  It was 20 years of great experience and I made money.  Then I was faced with stage 3 breast cancer.  I didn’t do very well in the beginning.  The fright and the possibility of death.  My daughter even came to me one day and said, Mom, are you going to die.  I said yeah, but not today.  And about that time, with those words, my language made me realize that I am not going to die, not today.  It gave me much more reason to fight.  Overcoming those obstacles always gave me something to look forward to.  I had something in my mind.  I had vision of where I wanted to be.  This was just a hiccup in that road. 

P:  As you are telling your story, each segments says how powerful purpose really is.  You did what it took.  It’s not always easy to follow our purpose and passion.  With all of the challenges of getting to fly, then the next phase was about making money to raise your daughter.  You had a strong purpose.   And then the fight for cancer, the same passion and purpose came through.  How powerful purpose is in our life!  Especially when we know it and can utilize it.  Do you agree?

S:  Yes, it got me through the toughest spots. 

P:  Today we are going to talk about the 4 areas and purpose is number one.  NO surprise, right?  I know a big part of what you are doing now is working with women who are transitioning out of the military and other things as well.  Can you tell us more about your experience in your transition from you were in the military to civilian life?

S:  It was interesting for me because when I went into the navy I went through boot camp.  Nine weeks of stripping me down from being a civilian to a sailor.  Nine weeks of intense training.  I was locked away and immersed in military rules and regulations.  You are doing your physical training, running obstacle courses, and marching.  After that, I got my final pay check and then they said see you later.  No intense reentry.  We did a four hour group meeting that somebody put on that said, ok here is how you will get your benefits.  Here is what you are entitled to and then you are gone.  I remember I got sick right out about a month after I got out.  I had a kidney stone.  I didn’t know where to go.  I didn’t have a doctor or anything.  I was young and healthy.  Somebody said to go to the VA.  I didn’t even know what that was.  This is where we need to work with our vets and to make sure they know what benefits are available and how to use them.  How do you walk into a VA hospital and be seen by a doctor.  We need to be more aware of helping our veterans and also transitioning them into financial stability and resume writing.  How to take the experiences you had as a combat veteran or a veteran of intelligence and how to take those words and change them into something a civilian equivalence.

P:  The military language isn’t going to be understood in a cooperate environment.  The language of productivity is getting specific and knowing what is important and how people understand things in that other context.  I could see that to be huge for people to take all of the military experience, which is so valuable, so someone who is a leader can make a leader in an organization.  To sell themselves and how to do that is so important and valuable. 

S:  We give ourselves a leg up once we join the military.  The corporate world is starting to see our veterans as leaders.  It’s important to speak the same language when we get out of the military.  We are also doing affordable housing projects and we are starting one here in Orlando to help women veterans.  I like to think that sometimes we women have different needs then men so we treat them accordingly.  I want to start a multifamily housing unit here in Orlando that accepts women and children so we can give these women a head start in to the future.  In that facility, we will do resume writing with HR people.  We will have guest speakers.  A lot of planned activities that will help transition from military to civilian. 

P:  You talked about women having different needs and there weren’t many women in the military in 1976.  What made you join the military?  Was it just flying?

S:  Growing up I was very lucky to live in an area near Pepperdine.  Outside of Malibu.  The scholarships that were awarded to me were to Pepperdine and that was too close to my house.  There was no way I was going to this school and my parents were going to have me live at home.  I applied to Syracuse in New York but my background didn’t fit with what they needed.  So I decided that I wanted to leave California.  It was a combination of a drive or desire to fly but to see the world and just get out of that little area that I grew up in.  I knew there was more.  I wasn’t afraid.  On my 18th birthday I went and signed up.  I came home and said mom and dad, you need to sit down.  I told them what I had done.  My dad said, oh Suzanne, I am so proud of you and my mom said, OH NO! 

P:  What I am really interested in is there were not many women in the military that time.  You must have had incredible courage.  How did you do that?

S:  When I first went in, I asked if I could fly flight crew.  They said no, we don’t let women fly flight crew.  I knew I wanted to fly so I put it a request and then finally approved all the way up the line.  But they put in the side bar, on your own time.  My regular job was in the day and when I would be on these airplanes with these guys they carried guns in the cockpit.  There were no facilities for women where we went.  I had to share a room with the guys.  All of that was just learning.  A learning curve to show me my courage.  I didn’t really think about it.  It was one of those things that I had such a strong desire to get to that end result.  The courage showed up alongside of it.

P:  By tapping into your purpose, you are tapping into your courage.  Purpose is one of those key components in championship psychology.  To tap into that and get clarity, it opens up a whole new world.  Its amazing how tapping into your purpose takes away fear and opens up that courage. 

S:  I realize that this was my pattern and my pattern is what brought me to this place today.  It brought me through being widowed and breast cancer.  I truly believe that the sooner you learn to tap into that purpose, the greater your life will be.

P:  Fantastic.  I know that you are providing coaching for women who are diagnosed with cancer.  To use your experience you can help others.  Tell us about that side.

S:  I started seeing that there was a sterile doctor, medical, big words, terminology and I really didn’t have an emotional contact or group.  I did the chemo every Friday.  What that did for me was it gave me a Friday afternoon of girls in the chemo room.  Those girls became my emotional partners.  My support.  Other than that, all of my friends were in different spots because they weren’t….I wasn’t present for them.  I realized that I needed to give support back.  With my coaching it is three phases.  If you are just going through breast cancer, if you just were diagnosed with breast cancer, or if you are survivor and you would like to live as a thriver.  We work on all three parts of the process.  So, when you are first diagnosed you have to have a heart of a fighter.  You have to be able to say I am going to fight like I have never fought before.  Having someone alongside of you, you don’t have to fight alone.  The other part is I work with the soul of a woman.  Now that you have lost your hair and are going through the chemo, who do you talk to?  Who do you ask, will I really go bald?  Who do you ask questions to that has your emotional side covered?  I work with women who are currently in remission or have been given the all clear that they are done with cancer.  How do you become a thriver?  How do you change your focus on just surviving?  Through my coaching I take women through, what is your passion?  What is your purpose?  What are we going to do to stay healthy?  What language do we use?  Do we consider ourselves survivors?  Those are the types of coaching that I do. 

P:  We will get more into detail later in the show around that.  Those areas that you mentioned are the areas of championship psychology.  There are so many synergies in what you are offering in your heart of a fighter method.  You can help those women tap into that championship psychology.  Those three areas are heart of a fighter, soul of a women, and body of a survivor.  I absolutely love that!  We are ready to take a break.  Stay tuned.

Drive by Daniel Pink

Daniel Pink tells us that most of what we think about motivation is wrong.

Researchers show that the carrot and stick method so often used in the corporate setting is not motivating your staff like you think it is. Maybe that’s what is reflected in the Gallup study with 70% of the workforce disengaged. We are trying to engage them in the wrong way.

 

Drive by Daniel Pink

Courtesy: Nathalie Magniez/Flickr

 

There are instances he points out where the carrot and stick method of extrinsic motivators, such as money, works effectively. These situations are when the tasks are mundane and it is just the execution of a simple step by step process. These situations require little creativity and therefore see success with external motivators.

In his book, Daniel Pink points out that financial rewards can create bad behavior: reaching the goal at all costs, causing shortcuts and unethical short-term thinking and behavior. Other challenges are that the financial reward becomes expected and addictive.

When you want to access the creativity, conceptual thinking and problem solving of people and activate their level of engagement, the best motivators are the internal motivators.

Daniel Pink challenges the goal setting process of an organization that provides fixed goals for people. He says they are not always in alignment with our deep-seated desire to direct our own lives, to extend and expand our abilities, and to live a life of purpose. Daniel Pink points these three areas as the drivers of human motivation:

Autonomy—the desire to direct our own lives

Mastery—to advance our skills and knowledge in something that matters to us

Purpose—The need to serve others

Here are some interesting statements around each area:

Autonomy

‘If-then’ rewards require people to forfeit some of their autonomy. Goals set by others diminish autonomy and intrinsic motivation. The less say people have, the less autonomy they feel. It can often create a sense of apathy around the goals themselves.

Mastery

Rewards, by their very nature, narrow our focus. Rewards take away the desire to master the topic, do their best or rise to the occasion. Rewards create competition and put limitations on people’s effort and motivation to succeed.

Purpose:

Interestingly enough, in a study done around blood donors, when financial incentives were provided people were less interested to serve others as it wasn’t genuine. Instead of increasing the number of blood donors, offering to pay people decreased the number by nearly half.

This goes against what most people think but studies have proven this to be true. Extrinsic motivators are not the best way to engage people and bring out their best.

The premise of the book is to take employees from compliance to engagement. It’s important to understand what intrinsically motivated people and how to connect them to these intrinsic motivators.

When leaders try to use control, it may create some compliance but removes the engagement, accountability, and creativity that comes from employees owning their work. People need to be seen as partners not resources.

In the traditional workforce motivation model, companies use reward and punishment. These external factors also usually come at the end of the process. Accountability and ownership need to be fostered at the beginning of the process.

Read the book and stop using financial rewards and start sparking intrinsic motivators. Share some ways you engage your staff to spark the three intrinsic motivators.

Image Source: Flickr

Interview Sky Blossoms Seg 3 | Relationships and Intuition

Welcome back to the last segment of this week’s take charge of your productivity.  I am with Sky Blossoms, author of The Best Thing Ever. Glad you are here. Today we are going to talk about 3 tips to improve relationships.  Also, we will talk about intuitive signals.  We talked in the last segment that our choices are either towards love and courage or towards fear.  You mentioned that there is a discomfort.  That is a way that our bodies are talking to us as well as our minds.  Tell us about how we can better understand and recognize those signals so we can use them toward our benefit. 

S:  People confuse all kinds of things for intuition.  I have clients who thought their stomach pains were their intuitions and were not.  It can be confusing.  It’s a great thing to talk about.  Intuition is never unpleasant.  It always comes in the form of inspiration.  Often people miss that just because its such a gentle and light signal.  Because they miss it, that is when they go down the wrong road.  Their GPS are screaming at them and then they feel resistance.  Intuition comes to us in a very gentle way.  Its more like an invitation.  When you don’t go with it, you start to get those tightening feelings in the stomach and the feeling of resistance.  That is when you missed your first intuitive signal. 

P:  When it manifests itself, because it can as stomach pains or something physical, to me that is almost like when have completely avoided the incongruence that we are feeling, it then comes into a physical form.  It is causing us stress.

Relationships and intuitionS:  Already at that point, when the pain occurs, it is not intuition, it’s your body screaming that you are going down the wrong road.  That is the key difference.  Intuition is always like a inspiration.  It is very light and in order for people to learn and understand their intuitive signals, there will be hidden messages.  Let’s say you are about to leave the house.  You are by the door and you remembered that you forgot to get something important.  You go and grab it, acknowledge that your intuition reminded you that you forgot something important.  Acknowledge will help you be more in tune for next time.  Second, while you are at it, take a second to the moment of remembering and remember how it felt in your body.  Create an anchor, touch your ear, for example.  Or put together your pinky and your thumb on one hand, create a signal for yourself for understanding your intuition.  You anchor your intuition into your physiology and next time when you need to make an important decision, and you are torn and don’t know which way to go, you can make this signal and your body will know that this means you need to tune into your intuition.  It will help you recognize the right answer.  Once you do this over and over again by going back and thinking it, and noticing how it felt in your body, then next time, it will be much easier to recognize. 

P:  For those of you who don’t know what an anchor is, would you describe what that is?

S:  Back in the day a very famous Russian physiologists studied a dog’s salivation.  He was feeding food to dogs with a bell’s signal.  Every time the dog received food, there was a ringing of the bell.  After while he started to ring the bell and the dogs were starting to salivation.  Even without the food.  The signal was not even related to food.  It was a bell.  By connecting your fingers and have our intuition be the bell, you would get the same response. 

P:  It’s a way to call onto your intuition when you need it.  Because you have programmed yourself to do that.  It’s an interesting way to use an anchor.  You call your intuition.  I like it.  That will help people be more conscious of their intuition.  In my program I always talk about the idea of productivity.  All of these things indirectly affect our productivity.  Intuitively knowing what you need to do next.  Obviously it doesn’t mean you can just go on to intuition.  You have to do some planning.  It does help give you direction and focus when you don’t have that clarity.  A lot of people are focused around time.  Time is a constant when we try to manage something that is out of our control.  It creates stress and frustration.  We know that today’s world, stress is the number one killer of our productivity.  Do you agree?  Some of the tips we talked about earlier are going to help you improve those relationships by releasing negative emotions or energy that are creating resistance.  Also, you said you would share a few tips to help their relationships in a dramatic way.  Now would be a great time to share those.

S:  Three tips on how you can improve your relationships dramatically.  They can fall into your championship psychology principles.  The first is purpose.  When we talk about relationships, whenever I hear people talk about the purpose of their relationships, it’s at the core of your success.  It goes for your personal relationships and work relationships.  All kinds.  Before you engage in a relationship with someone, you should be very clear in what you what as the result.  At different times in your life, there are different purposes for relationships.  You have to be clear definition.  Once you know the purpose of your relationship, it goes above the relationship itself.  It pulls you through any challenges that may arise down the road.  For example, if you have a business partner and you disagree with him or her at the moment, then the moment you remind yourself why you have this business partner, what the purpose is, it will help you find solutions together.  You are not focused on being right or your partner being wrong, you are focused on what is it that the two of you want together.  It brings you into that flow.  The same goes for intimate relationships.  When you have an argument or disagreement, your purpose will pull you through. 

P:  Is your tip to define it?

S:  To be clear. 

P:  To actually sit down and write it.  Be clear especially for your relationships that are important to you.  Give it the time and energy.  Sit down together and then separately to really write it down and be clear on that purpose.

S:  Even before you have that relationship, write the description of your partner.  Start with why you want to be in the relationship.  What do you want out of this relationship?  What kind of relationship do you want to have?  Then you go into what kind of mate you need to be with in order to fulfill that purpose of relationship.  And what kind of person do you need to be?  The second tip is presence.  That has to do with focus.  We touched on that a little bit.  That lack of presence is the biggest challenge that I see in relationships these days.  I saw somebody posting on Facebook a picture of two children where one boy is comforting a girl while watching a show on his tablet.  A mother of a girl saying oh, how cute, he’s such a modern day man, he is comforting Gracie.  At the same time was watching a show on a tablet.  I thought, Oh my God, that is exactly the problem we are faced with.  People do this all of the time.  They sit down to dinner together and they text somebody, or talk to their spouse at the same time, stare at the tv or something else.  That presence and focus on your partner, will mean the quality of your communication.  On a business meeting, when you talk to your employees or colleagues, it’s like being completely and fully present for that moment in time with them, for them and for the common purpose that you are achieving.  It’s going to take the quality of communication to a completely different level.  The third tip is authenticity.  As we talked before we train ourselves to be liked by others and to be approved.  It takes us so far sometimes from who we really are.  We walk on eggshells or smiling when we don’t feel like smiling and say things we don’t mean to say.  We don’t speak our truth when we are called to do that for fear of being disapproved.  This is essentially lying.  We don’t call it that but it is lying.  The biggest damage its doing is that it betrays your own integrity.  When you start disrespecting yourself, you cannot grow and earn respect of others.  When you start losing a sense of who you are, your identity, it inevitably leads to depression and other unfavorable consequences.  Including poor quality relationships.  Having that courage to step up and make the choice towards love and towards truth in your heart because we always know what is wrong or right for us and what needs to be done.  Just acting on that, regardless of the possible circumstances, will always effect the level of happiness that you experience. 

P:  Those are three great tips that I hope everybody has written down.  Keep those at the top of your mind.  Before we wrap up, I want to hear about your new book that is coming out.  Tell me about it.

S:  My book is called The Best Thing Ever.  I wrote it for high achievers who are not willing to settle for mediocracy in their personal relationships.  It’s a step by step guide on how to create truly blissful love life.  How do recognize love from infatuation.  The difference between commitment and devotion.  How to create that magic on a daily basis with your mate. 

P:  Where can people find more information about it?

S:  The best way is to go to my website BestThingEver.Com  The book will be released on February 4th and I will have some amazing gifts to celebrate the date of release.  I will be giving away for one day only sets of amazing meditations that I have created.  Ten days of Magic and those are my journeys focused ten days in a row on appreciation.  It opens your heart to real love.  Gratitude makes wonders in your life.  I have experienced that personally.  I absolutely think that focusing on appreciation can create miracles.  The second set is design to clearing connections with ex-lovers and finding your core and getting in tune with your intuition.  Those are more of exercises designed to achieve a particular purpose. 

P:  Fantastic.  Sky it was so great having you here.  Time flew by and I know the listeners got some really great tips that they can take away.  Thank you so much for being here. It’s important to understand the items that bring us balance.  And that there are levers in our emotional energy.  Although many people get good at compartmentalizing, relationships are and always will be a lever in our energy management and productivity.  Understanding the principles of championship psychology will help you to better understand how we process information and feel all of those emotions because we are human and we need to feel the ups and downs.  The key is to how to learn about the experiences and release the negative emotions and move forward and stay on path and purpose.  My quantum productivity system provides an online way to get access to the basic principles of creating and maintaining a championship psychology.  And for those of you that want it at a deeper level, together with Dr. Duncan md.  He and I offer a two day boot camp where we go into more depth and immerse you into those ten principles.  We live a legacy every day in how we show up.  As I said in the beginning, every day is game day.  The question is how will you show up?  If you like what you heard here, send us a message on Facebook or Twitter.  www.facebook.comPennyZperspective www.twitter.com/pennyzenker.  Join us next week as we continue to provide you with information that will dramatically increase your productivity and create what I call Quantum Productivity.  This is Penny Zenker reminding you to take charge of your time and energy.  It is a choice you can feel good about.

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