Welcome back to the last segment of this week’s take charge of your productivity.  I am with Sky Blossoms, author of The Best Thing Ever. Glad you are here. Today we are going to talk about 3 tips to improve relationships.  Also, we will talk about intuitive signals.  We talked in the last segment that our choices are either towards love and courage or towards fear.  You mentioned that there is a discomfort.  That is a way that our bodies are talking to us as well as our minds.  Tell us about how we can better understand and recognize those signals so we can use them toward our benefit. 

S:  People confuse all kinds of things for intuition.  I have clients who thought their stomach pains were their intuitions and were not.  It can be confusing.  It’s a great thing to talk about.  Intuition is never unpleasant.  It always comes in the form of inspiration.  Often people miss that just because its such a gentle and light signal.  Because they miss it, that is when they go down the wrong road.  Their GPS are screaming at them and then they feel resistance.  Intuition comes to us in a very gentle way.  Its more like an invitation.  When you don’t go with it, you start to get those tightening feelings in the stomach and the feeling of resistance.  That is when you missed your first intuitive signal. 

P:  When it manifests itself, because it can as stomach pains or something physical, to me that is almost like when have completely avoided the incongruence that we are feeling, it then comes into a physical form.  It is causing us stress.

Relationships and intuitionS:  Already at that point, when the pain occurs, it is not intuition, it’s your body screaming that you are going down the wrong road.  That is the key difference.  Intuition is always like a inspiration.  It is very light and in order for people to learn and understand their intuitive signals, there will be hidden messages.  Let’s say you are about to leave the house.  You are by the door and you remembered that you forgot to get something important.  You go and grab it, acknowledge that your intuition reminded you that you forgot something important.  Acknowledge will help you be more in tune for next time.  Second, while you are at it, take a second to the moment of remembering and remember how it felt in your body.  Create an anchor, touch your ear, for example.  Or put together your pinky and your thumb on one hand, create a signal for yourself for understanding your intuition.  You anchor your intuition into your physiology and next time when you need to make an important decision, and you are torn and don’t know which way to go, you can make this signal and your body will know that this means you need to tune into your intuition.  It will help you recognize the right answer.  Once you do this over and over again by going back and thinking it, and noticing how it felt in your body, then next time, it will be much easier to recognize. 

P:  For those of you who don’t know what an anchor is, would you describe what that is?

S:  Back in the day a very famous Russian physiologists studied a dog’s salivation.  He was feeding food to dogs with a bell’s signal.  Every time the dog received food, there was a ringing of the bell.  After while he started to ring the bell and the dogs were starting to salivation.  Even without the food.  The signal was not even related to food.  It was a bell.  By connecting your fingers and have our intuition be the bell, you would get the same response. 

P:  It’s a way to call onto your intuition when you need it.  Because you have programmed yourself to do that.  It’s an interesting way to use an anchor.  You call your intuition.  I like it.  That will help people be more conscious of their intuition.  In my program I always talk about the idea of productivity.  All of these things indirectly affect our productivity.  Intuitively knowing what you need to do next.  Obviously it doesn’t mean you can just go on to intuition.  You have to do some planning.  It does help give you direction and focus when you don’t have that clarity.  A lot of people are focused around time.  Time is a constant when we try to manage something that is out of our control.  It creates stress and frustration.  We know that today’s world, stress is the number one killer of our productivity.  Do you agree?  Some of the tips we talked about earlier are going to help you improve those relationships by releasing negative emotions or energy that are creating resistance.  Also, you said you would share a few tips to help their relationships in a dramatic way.  Now would be a great time to share those.

S:  Three tips on how you can improve your relationships dramatically.  They can fall into your championship psychology principles.  The first is purpose.  When we talk about relationships, whenever I hear people talk about the purpose of their relationships, it’s at the core of your success.  It goes for your personal relationships and work relationships.  All kinds.  Before you engage in a relationship with someone, you should be very clear in what you what as the result.  At different times in your life, there are different purposes for relationships.  You have to be clear definition.  Once you know the purpose of your relationship, it goes above the relationship itself.  It pulls you through any challenges that may arise down the road.  For example, if you have a business partner and you disagree with him or her at the moment, then the moment you remind yourself why you have this business partner, what the purpose is, it will help you find solutions together.  You are not focused on being right or your partner being wrong, you are focused on what is it that the two of you want together.  It brings you into that flow.  The same goes for intimate relationships.  When you have an argument or disagreement, your purpose will pull you through. 

P:  Is your tip to define it?

S:  To be clear. 

P:  To actually sit down and write it.  Be clear especially for your relationships that are important to you.  Give it the time and energy.  Sit down together and then separately to really write it down and be clear on that purpose.

S:  Even before you have that relationship, write the description of your partner.  Start with why you want to be in the relationship.  What do you want out of this relationship?  What kind of relationship do you want to have?  Then you go into what kind of mate you need to be with in order to fulfill that purpose of relationship.  And what kind of person do you need to be?  The second tip is presence.  That has to do with focus.  We touched on that a little bit.  That lack of presence is the biggest challenge that I see in relationships these days.  I saw somebody posting on Facebook a picture of two children where one boy is comforting a girl while watching a show on his tablet.  A mother of a girl saying oh, how cute, he’s such a modern day man, he is comforting Gracie.  At the same time was watching a show on a tablet.  I thought, Oh my God, that is exactly the problem we are faced with.  People do this all of the time.  They sit down to dinner together and they text somebody, or talk to their spouse at the same time, stare at the tv or something else.  That presence and focus on your partner, will mean the quality of your communication.  On a business meeting, when you talk to your employees or colleagues, it’s like being completely and fully present for that moment in time with them, for them and for the common purpose that you are achieving.  It’s going to take the quality of communication to a completely different level.  The third tip is authenticity.  As we talked before we train ourselves to be liked by others and to be approved.  It takes us so far sometimes from who we really are.  We walk on eggshells or smiling when we don’t feel like smiling and say things we don’t mean to say.  We don’t speak our truth when we are called to do that for fear of being disapproved.  This is essentially lying.  We don’t call it that but it is lying.  The biggest damage its doing is that it betrays your own integrity.  When you start disrespecting yourself, you cannot grow and earn respect of others.  When you start losing a sense of who you are, your identity, it inevitably leads to depression and other unfavorable consequences.  Including poor quality relationships.  Having that courage to step up and make the choice towards love and towards truth in your heart because we always know what is wrong or right for us and what needs to be done.  Just acting on that, regardless of the possible circumstances, will always effect the level of happiness that you experience. 

P:  Those are three great tips that I hope everybody has written down.  Keep those at the top of your mind.  Before we wrap up, I want to hear about your new book that is coming out.  Tell me about it.

S:  My book is called The Best Thing Ever.  I wrote it for high achievers who are not willing to settle for mediocracy in their personal relationships.  It’s a step by step guide on how to create truly blissful love life.  How do recognize love from infatuation.  The difference between commitment and devotion.  How to create that magic on a daily basis with your mate. 

P:  Where can people find more information about it?

S:  The best way is to go to my website BestThingEver.Com  The book will be released on February 4th and I will have some amazing gifts to celebrate the date of release.  I will be giving away for one day only sets of amazing meditations that I have created.  Ten days of Magic and those are my journeys focused ten days in a row on appreciation.  It opens your heart to real love.  Gratitude makes wonders in your life.  I have experienced that personally.  I absolutely think that focusing on appreciation can create miracles.  The second set is design to clearing connections with ex-lovers and finding your core and getting in tune with your intuition.  Those are more of exercises designed to achieve a particular purpose. 

P:  Fantastic.  Sky it was so great having you here.  Time flew by and I know the listeners got some really great tips that they can take away.  Thank you so much for being here. It’s important to understand the items that bring us balance.  And that there are levers in our emotional energy.  Although many people get good at compartmentalizing, relationships are and always will be a lever in our energy management and productivity.  Understanding the principles of championship psychology will help you to better understand how we process information and feel all of those emotions because we are human and we need to feel the ups and downs.  The key is to how to learn about the experiences and release the negative emotions and move forward and stay on path and purpose.  My quantum productivity system provides an online way to get access to the basic principles of creating and maintaining a championship psychology.  And for those of you that want it at a deeper level, together with Dr. Duncan md.  He and I offer a two day boot camp where we go into more depth and immerse you into those ten principles.  We live a legacy every day in how we show up.  As I said in the beginning, every day is game day.  The question is how will you show up?  If you like what you heard here, send us a message on Facebook or Twitter.  www.facebook.comPennyZperspective www.twitter.com/pennyzenker.  Join us next week as we continue to provide you with information that will dramatically increase your productivity and create what I call Quantum Productivity.  This is Penny Zenker reminding you to take charge of your time and energy.  It is a choice you can feel good about.