Welcome Back. Welcome back Sky.
S: Thank you.
P: I ask this question to everyone. How do you define productivity and why?
S: Productivity is synonymous with inspiration. Being able to accomplish the most of your purpose in the shortest and the most efficient amount of time. It also implies being in the zone and inspired and in the state when you flow. When all aligns for you. Whatever you set out to achieve, it just flows.
P: Great. To get to this place of inspiration or flow, what are the factors or elements that have the greatest impact?
S: It is your overall state. I love your four elements of championship psychology because they are crucial. I agree on that. First and foremost, it is your physiology. You have to feel vibrant and enthusiastic. The energy needs to flow so you can breathe and be at your best. Then it’s your state of mind and knowing the purpose. What do you want to achieve? Just focus on tasks at hand. On what needs to be done. I think all of these stem from our purpose. Purpose is at the core of those things.
P: I can see that most people when they really tap into their purpose, then that is a sense of inspiration. I was talking last week with Suzanne Oliver and she was talking about that when you tap into that purpose, and have that passion that it actually eliminates any fear. I see that being a basis for inspiration too, right? The internal ability to go after it and make it happen.
S: I agree. I was in the boardroom with a bunch of brilliant entrepreneurs last month and we talked about breaking through beliefs. If you are getting stopped by the obstacles then your purpose is not strong enough.
P: I have my mentor, Steve Lindor, he uses the example of crossing a busy highway? Most people would say no, right? Then he said what if your child was on the other side of that highway. It changes that purpose. You find a way across that highway. Speaking of breaking through obstacles, productivity and profits are a natural byproduct of removing the obstacles and resistance that will naturally create a greater level of productivity. You will be able to focus more energy and clarity into moving forward. It’s a natural byproduct. What kind of obstacles do you help people overcome to create relationships?
S: Many of us adapt limiting beliefs and perspective. Then our behavior is affected by those perceptions. That is the core of what I help my clients with resolving. I believe every step of our journey in life pretty much every moment of every day, we are presented with a choice. You can choose or another. It’s a fork in the road. You can either make a choice that is empowering and becomes a statement of who you are. You are declaring who you are. Your true essence comes through in your deeds, decisions and the product you are making. In your words that you are speaking. Or you make this empowering choice driven by fear. This fork in the road leads you towards love or fear. Your decision is based on either or. Every time you make a choice towards love you end up growing and achieving. If driven by fear, you end up suffering and life keeps presenting you the same choice. When we are children often our parents would reprimand us or we would get criticized. We start molding our behavior to be liked. That is the motive that is driven by fear. As long as we continue making the choice driven by fear, we are going to end up suffering. I help my clients try to trace back in certain belief systems, their inner presence, when in their life they first made the choice that led them down the road of fear verses the road of courage and loss. I help them change the choice to a more empowering one. I show them how to consistently make the same empowering choice in similar circumstances.
P: People might say, I am not making a choice from fear. Its love or somewhere in between. How do you help people to better understand whether it’s a choice of fear or love or something in between?
S: Great question. I believe there is no choice in between. It’s either or. How you decide is to make a choice towards love or courage, makes you feel empowered and good about yourself. You always feel certain degrees of confidence. Making a choice driven by fear, you always feel a little diminished or less. It’s uncomfortable. It always creates resistance. Choice towards fear always makes resistance. People confuse love with fear all of the time. It’s one of our biggest confusions. Worrying about your child for example. It seems to be natural but is it a choice of fear or love? Its fear. Worried about your loved ones or your lover cheating on you. It is all choices of fear which never leave you down happy life experiences. The choice of love will require courage and will require trust. Not worrying about your child you will believe that your child has wisdom within him or herself. They can be in tuned with their own intuition and make the right choices. You teach them to the best of their ability. The universe of God or whatever your belief system is, will take care of them. It will happen. Worry is never helpful.
P: Because you are focused on that fear. We are creatures of habit. When we are in a habit of feeling fear and being in that discomfort or resistance, it’s our norm. A lot of people live in that place of norm and they may not recognize it to be an uncomfortable feeling. Is that possible? How do you bring people to really come more into their heart or shift them from the fear side to the other side of love and courage?
S: Great questions. Most people live in the state of chronic fear or chronic pain. I learned in medical school, unfortunately, chronic diseases are incurable. Until their pain is taken into an acute form, I can’t help them.
P: Until it’s gotten so bad that there is an urgency to fix it?
S: Yes. For example. Take a smoker. They say they don’t really want to. They quit for a day or two. Then they start again. They want to quit but they never do. One day they are diagnosed with lung cancer and then they quit all of a sudden. In the instant. Because there is a different leverage. The situation became acute. The same thing happens when people make the consistent choice of fear and there life experiences will present new challenges of a similar quality. You may notice many people experience the same problem over and over again. Different places, faces, etc. Like Groundhogs day. Financial struggles, partner will always cheat on them, or other challenges that people suffer from. At one point they will be feeling like I am done with this. I don’t want to experience this pain a second longer. I refuse to live like that. I deserve better. I want better. I am done with this. At the moment they feel this, that is when I can help them. That is when the shift can occur. When the breakthroughs happen. That is when rapid growth is possible. Until that moment, unfortunately, as long as they are comfortable in their pain, nothing is going to change. Our culture is supportive of soothing that edge of pain. Through ice cream, tv, distractions, work, other things. They are led away from feeling their own discomforts or pain.
P: I know you have ways to help people release negative emotions. Let’s give them some tips. What are one or two things that you could suggest for people to help relieve negative emotions say they can have better relationships and improve their productivity?
S: One suggestion is to release negative emotions as soon as they arise. Driving is a stressful situation. Somebody cuts you off and you get upset and our mind chatter goes into blame of those people. How could they drive this way? At this very moment, when this distractive mind chatter starts, take a deep breath, inhale, exhale, and ask yourself a productive question: What is it I want right now? What happened happened, it sucks but what do I want. Usually some more pleasant ideas will come into your mind. The next question you ask yourself, what can I do right here and right now from where I am at to what I want in order to feel better? Your mind will supply productive answers.
P: Asking ourselves questions, one of the things I say, is the quality of our life is related to the quality of questions we ask ourselves and others. It’s so easy. When we have that negative self-talk or blame, especially with relationships, we need to be conscious of when we start to blame instead of taking responsibility. We are not saying what is my role? It’s not to say someone didn’t cut you off and you were in the right. It’s important to recognize when any blame or anger feelings come up. There are a couple questions that I usually use and my mentor created them. He got me to really think about what does this mean? Then to ask it again, and again,. What does this mean and what else could this mean? The same person who cuts you off, you might want to think, is that person really doing it to me? No. It could also mean that that person had a bad day and they just got fired. Maybe someone in their life has passed away. The next question is one of the most important ones is what can I learn from that? Is there something you can learn? It is my belief and experiences with my clients and people I work with is when we get the learning, we let go of the negative emotions. Those patterns that repeat themselves, repeat themselves is because we haven’t learned the lesson. So those are just a few additional questions people can ask. When you learn something, how great is it that you can share with someone else and help them to avoid discomfort or to give them the benefit of what you have been able to learn.
S: Questions can benefit your relationships when you are faced with blame or criticism. You do exactly the same thing. It’s much harder. When we are blamed or criticized we take it so seriously. When you are blamed or criticized, first question the validity of that. Ask the person coming at you, is that true? They will say yeah and continue on with their rumble. If you ask the question enough times, and the person really cares for you, sooner or later, they will say, no it’s not always true, but….. Once you have shaken their confidence then you can start getting to constructive points. The next question is, I understand and what is it you want?
P: When they are global in everything you do, it makes me angry or whatever it is, you can’t get past it. You need to get more specific. Something else that came to mind that you can ask yourself is what needs are not being met of your partner? You can better understand from their model of the world what is creating this emotion. What has triggered that?
S: When you switch that focus from you onto them and focus on how you can improve their life, your whole conversation changes.
P: Thank you for those tips. We are going to take a short break then we will be back again. When we come back we will be talking with Sky Blossoms. More tips with energy and how energy affects our relationships.